Before I could finish my sentence, Hayden’s hands were cupping my cheeks, heat radiating off them. But instead of pressing his lips to mine, like I so desperately wanted him to despite my backtracking, he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.
His lips were soft and warm, and my stomach did backflips at the subtle gesture of affection.
Grinning, he pulled back. “You fucking did it, Sierra. You’re going to the NFR.”
Hayden’s phone rang and he mumbled something—an apology, maybe—before answering. “Hello?”
A pause.
“Yep, we just looked.” He shot me a wink. “No, that’s okay. I didn’t expect to. But yeah, she’s…she’s ecstatic. And I’m so proud of her.”
A muffled voice on the other end of the line kept going on, but I couldn’t pinpoint who it was.
“All right, we’ll see you later. Bye, guys.” He hung up the phone. “Sorry, that was Colter and Ellison. They wanted to tell you congratulations. And we’re all going out to Rudy’s to celebrate later.”
I nodded, the shock of it all still buried deep in my bones. I stared at the standings on my phone for a while longer, both wanting the moment to really sink in and waiting for the numbers to change. Like it was all a fluke and there was a mistake.
But no, it was real. Everything I’d worked for, everything I’d dreamed about, had finally come true.
“I’m so proud of you.” Hayden pulled me into his chest, resting his head on top of mine. We sat there like that for a while, our breathing matched and heartbeats synching.
“Are you upset that I made it to the NFR but you didn’t?” I asked once the high had worn off. “You worked hard for it this year, too.”
Hayden shook his head, wrapping me into his arms. “No, Sierra, never,” he whispered in my ear before pulling back to look down into my eyes. “This is your dream. This has always been your dream. Watching it come true for you is more than enough for me.”
“Are you sure?” I hated the way my voice sounded—small, meek.
“Yeah. Always.”
I broke free from his embrace, standing a little too quickly. “I-I’m going to go take a shower.” Unable to make eye contact with him, I rounded the couch and headed in the direction of the bathroom.
“Hey, Sierra?”
I glanced over my shoulder. Hayden had followed me and was standing at the end of the hallway. Turning around, I crossed my arms over my chest. “Yeah?”
“I love you.” Hayden blurted it out like it was a secret he’d been keeping all these months. “I-I never stopped.”
My mouth gaped, opening and closing, but no words came out. My arms came uncrossed and fell to my sides.
Hayden walked down the hallway to meet me, grasping my hands in his, both our palms aflame. “You don’t have to say it back, Skip. It’s okay. I just needed you to know that no matter what happens, I love you, and I see you, and I’m so fucking proud of you, okay?”
I love you, too, but that’s what I’m afraid of.
Life wasn’t kind to me—never had been—and fate always seemed to take away the things I loved.
CHAPTER FORTY
sierra
JANUARY, SENIOR YEAR
Iwrapped my arms around myself, hesitating to knock on the door of the address Keenan had texted me. This had to be the right place, the trees were practically shaking from the bass music blasting from inside the house.
Are you here?
Hayden
Yeah, are you?
