“Two thirty or so. What are you doing?”
He came around the island to stand next to me. “Couldn’t sleep. You?”
“Same. Bad dream. I accidentally woke Pancho up”—I gestured to the ajar front door—“and here we are.”
As if saying his name summoned him, he poked his nose in the door, opening it so he could waddle back inside.
“Ah. Hey, buddy, did you protect Mom from her nightmare?” He scratched behind Pancho’s ears, and the dog’s tongue lolled out of his mouth happily.
I rolled my lips between my teeth, trying to ignore the flutter in my stomach at Hayden calling me Pancho’s mom. I shouldn’t have had that reaction. I didn’t even know if I wanted kids. In my mind, there was too great a probability they’d end up like me—or I’d make them that way because the apple never falls far from the tree—but, then again, with Hayden as a dad, they had a sliver of a chance to turn out okay.
God, what the fuck was I thinking? Why couldn’t I get the image of Hayden cradling a baby, cooing and whispering to it, out of my head? Why was the image there in the first place?
Shaking the thought from my head, I took a long gulp of water before placing the glass on the countertop.
“I should…” I mumbled with the intention of going back to my room, even if it meant I’d lie awake staring at the ceiling for hours.
“Wait.” Hayden placed his hand on my arm in a featherlight hold that still somehow kept me rooted in place.
“Hm?”
“Do you want to go somewhere?” he asked, eyes darting to the floor.
My eyebrows pinched together. “Go somewhere?”
“Yeah. Go on a drive. I-I just know you, and maybe driving will help clear your head. I remember in high school you’d tell me that you were never able to get back to sleep after bad dreams and…” He didn’t finish his sentence before backtracking. “Never mind, that was stupid. It’s like the middle of the night.”
Against my better judgment, I placed a hand over his. “A drive sounds nice.”
His eyes—deep pools of blue—widened in disbelief.
If his eyes were the ocean, then Hayden was a siren song, drawing me in until I drowned in them, giving up every piece of my soul.
He walked to the front door. “You coming?” He looked over his shoulder, keys jingling in his hand.
“Yeah. Pancho, bed.” Listening to the command, my dog padded back to my bedroom—albeit reluctantly and with his tail between his legs. He loved car rides, but he didn’t need to come on this one.
Goosebumps immediately covered my arms when we stepped outside. There wasn’t any wind, but the air was cold against my skin, and I wrapped my arms around myself.
“Do you want to go grab a jacket?” Hayden asked. He was smart and had a hoodie on already. The guy slept in them, though, and I didn’t understand how he was never roasting.
I shook my head. “No, I’m good.” Mostly stubborn, but if I went back inside the house, I probably wouldn’t want to leave again.
“All right.” He didn’t sound like he believed me, and I didn’t exactly blame him for that. It was only a matter of time before my teeth started to chatter and my body began to shake.
He cranked up the heat in the cab after starting it, but his pickup was old and took a while to warm up. It had been a few minutes since we left the driveway, and I could still see my breath in front of me.
I clenched my jaw so he wouldn’t hear my teeth rattle, but he must have noticed my discomfort because he unbuckled his seatbelt and pulled off his hoodie. “Here.”
“I don’t want it,” I bit out through a shiver. “You’re going to get cold.”
“Sierra, you’re literally shivering. Take it.” He thrust the army-green sweatshirt into my hands, the scent of his laundry detergent mixing with something woodsy.
“Fine,” I grumbled, wiggling my arms into the sleeves. Before I pulled it completely over my head, I inhaled deeply, breathing in the aroma that was pure Hayden. Comfort fell over me like a warm embrace, and a calm sensation settled in my chest.
“Better?” His voice, so low it was almost a rasp, broke me out of the trance he’d put me in.
I ran my teeth over my bottom lip before nodding. “Yeah. Better.” In an attempt to drown out my teeth still clanking together, I reached for the volume dial on the radio to turn it up.
