No, no, no.
My alarm hadn’t gone off, and the bus would be here in five minutes. Practically leaping out of bed, I threw on a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, not bothering to brush my hair or pull it back into a braid. That would take too long.
I grabbed my backpack, making sure my homework was in there—forgetting that and having to call home would be like setting off a ticking time bomb—then ran some toothpaste over my teeth and tongue.
“Sierra!” the voice, angrier, called out again.
“Coming!” I forced my voice to be strong and unwavering. I couldn’t show how anxious I was.
Darting down the stairs, I brushed past the figure at the base of them, silently praying that I could make it out of the door quickly and quietly.
I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth, biting until the metallic tang of blood filled my mouth. My eyes squeezed as I waited, but the impact never came. Letting out a sigh of relief, I made it out the front door with my backpack hanging off one shoulder and my shoelaces still untied.
Leaves crunched under my feet as I jogged down to the bus stop. It was late September, and the weather could be unpredictable, but at least this morning there was a chill to the air. Long sleeves weren’t as out of place as they were in July or August.
“Good morning, Miss Bayley,” the bus driver, a kind old man named Mr. Hughes, greeted me.
“Morning, Mr. Hughes,” I huffed, a bit out of breath.
I’d been attending high school in Goldfinch for a little over a month now, but people still stared at me like I was a wild animal at the zoo. To be fair, I wasn’t going out of my way to make friends, but that didn’t mean I wanted to be a spectacle.
I’d at least developed a routine: Get on the bus, say hello to Mr. Hughes, avoid everyone’s gaze, and sit near the back of the bus until the blond-haired boy I met the first week of classes—Hayden—inevitably tried (and usually succeeded) to talk to me.
I’d never admit it to anyone, but despite my cool demeanor and general distaste for people, I actually enjoyed talking to him. Something about Hayden was…calming. When I was around him, it was like driving under a bridge in a rainstorm. Even if it was only temporary, his presence made me feel less on edge.
I slumped down in my seat next to another quiet girl named Clare, swinging my backpack around so it rested on my lap. We didn’t talk much on our bus rides, but she always saved a spot for me. I liked to think we had some kind of mutual understanding.
Keenan and Hayden were already in their seats two rows in front of me—the two rambunctious boys were among the first people to get on the bus since they lived outside of town. Keenan always sat by the window, and Hayden sat in the aisle.
“Hey, Sierra.” Hayden flashed me a toothy grin, never once taking his eyes off me.
My lips had a mind of their own, curling up into a smile as my cheeks flushed. “Hi, Hayden.”
Keenan pulled on Hayden’s arm, and he reluctantly shifted his attention off me. But after a little while, Hayden turned back to me, ignoring Keenan and whatever elaborate story of the day he was trying to tell. “Do you want to come over to my house after school?” When I didn’t respond, he added quickly, “We have horses.”
I suppressed a giggle, because what a way to convince a girl. “Oh yeah?”
He blushed, and as he raked his fingers through his shaggy blond hair, a few strands fell over his forehead. “Yeah, one of our mares just had a filly. So, do you wanna?”
I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth as I weighed my options. I could go to Hayden’s house and potentially get in trouble, or I could go home and potentially get in trouble. I thought the answer was pretty obvious.
“Let me ask my mom if it’s okay.”
He flashed me a bright smile then looked at me expectantly.
“Oh, now?” I asked when a few moments of him staring at me passed.
He nodded again, a tint of pink spreading into his cheeks.
“Okay.” Pulling out my phone, I typed out a message to my mom.
Can I go to a friend’s house after school?
Mom
Sure, just make sure you’re back home in time for dinner.
My heart lurched in my chest, but another text came through.
