APRIL, FIVE YEARS AGO
Sierra was back in town to visit, a rare occasion since she really only came back to Goldfinch for court. Her mom moved away earlier in the year, so Sierra didn’t have a place to stay. My parents offered to let her sleep at their house in my old childhood bedroom every time like clockwork, but she always declined. Part of me thought she felt awkward about the whole situation with her dad, since mine was a cop.
We ate dinner at Ranger’s with Keenan and Ivy—who had gotten back together freshman year of college—just like old times, then came back to my apartment near campus. I had an early practice in the morning, but I would have stayed up all night with Sierra because that would have meant she was real and not just a figment of my imagination. She wasn’t just a ghost of my past, coming back to haunt me.
I turned on one of Sierra’s favorite movies,10 Things I Hate About You, and she snuggled next to me on my full-size bed. I was glad I wasn’t in the dorms, because I wasn’t sure how we’d comfortably fit on a twin-size bed together.
“I’m so happy you’re here, Skip,” I whispered into her hair as Heath Ledger serenaded Julia Stiles on the football field.
I wrapped my arm around her, tugging her closer to my side. She draped her leg over mine as she laid her head on my chest, putting her hand on my abdomen.
Ten or fifteen minutes could have passed, but I wouldn’t have known. I hadn’t been paying attention to the movie, wasn’t even sure what had happened on the screen or who was in the scene at this point. I was fully engrossed in the girl next to me. My eyes tracked from Sierra’s nose down to her full, pink lips and back up to her eyes.
“Hi,” she whispered, her eyes locked on my mouth.
“Hey.” Flicking my tongue over my lips, I cupped her face with my hands, drawing circles on her cheekbones with my thumbs. “Can I kiss you?”
“Please.” She nodded, closing her eyes and parting her lips.
The kiss was soft, innocent. Nothing like how my classmates had described kisses with their girlfriends or their hookups. Her lips fit against mine like puzzle pieces, and it was like a chunk of my soul—a part I didn’t know I was missing—found its way back to me.
I snaked one of my hands around her waist, the other entwining with her hair. Her hands found my jaw, and our mouths moved more hungrily. Like after finally getting a taste of each other, once was never enough. We were both starved for each other’s touch, hands roaming up and down the other’s body.
My tongue slipped inside her mouth when she took a breath, and hers tangled with mine, teeth clashing for a second. But it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable like most mishaps like that would be.
We made out for a while longer, then pulled back for air, our foreheads pressed against each other, chests rapidly rising and falling together.
“I’ve never done anything like this before,” she admitted.
“Me neither.”
Her eyes widened. “Never? You’ve never even kissed someone?”
I shook my head.
“But you’re here, and I thought maybe…”
I pressed my forehead against hers again, our noses barely touching. “I’m yours, Sierra. I’ve always been yours. Only yours. But we don’t have to?—”
“I-I want this. Just…slow, yeah?”
“Slow,” I repeated.
This time the kisses were deeper. I nipped her bottom lip then swiped my tongue over the spot to soothe the ache, and a soft moan fell from her lips.
Her hands slid under my shirt, roaming across my body, exploring every inch of my skin.
I lifted her hips, spinning us so she was on her back and I was on top. My hips ground against hers, the bulge in my sweatpants growing with each thrust.
She pressed a hand against my chest and for a moment, I thought she might have wanted to stop. But then she said, “Take off your shirt. I want to see you.”
Sitting up on my knees, I pulled my shirt over my head. Gesturing for her to lift her upper body, I gently took off her T-shirt, leaving her in her bra. I cupped a hand over one of her breasts, and she sighed, the mere sound of it making my heart race.
Lowering my mouth to her collarbone, I peppered kisses across her chest. She unhooked the clasp on her bra,pushing the straps off her shoulders and letting the fabric fall to reveal herself.
I kissed the top of her breast before latching my mouth onto her nipple and sucking.
“H-Hayden,” she moaned, her back arching off the bed, pushing her chest toward me.
