He pressed his lips to my temple, murmuring into my hair, “I bet you’d make it, too, if you applied. You’re the best barrel racer I know.”
I sighed, slipping out from under his arm. This wasn’t the first time Hayden tried to talk me into applying to SGU, and I was certain it wouldn’t be the last, either. “I’m not going to SGU. I’m not going to any college, Hayes.”
Out-of-state schools were too expensive. The only school that wouldn’t put me in a massive pile of debt was SGU. A rodeo scholarship would have paid for my tuition, but staying in Goldfinch wasn’t an option, not with my father so close.
“You still have time, though. It’s still early and they’re on a rolling application, so they don’t have a deadline. You can get in. We don’t even have to live in the dorms. We can get an apartment together, and we?—”
I stood, raising a hand to stop him. “I can’t, Hayden. You know I can’t.”
Getting an apartment with Hayden was even less of an option. The idea of my dad hurting him simply because I spent time with him was scary enough. Living together would increase the risk tenfold.
“I know. But I don’t know why.” He got up, too, forcing me to look up at him as he put his drink down and took my hands in his. He ran his thumbs over mine before lacing our fingers together. “I’d protect you, you know I would. You’d be safe with me.”
Butyouwouldn’t be safe withme. You’d just end up getting hurt.
I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut to prevent the tears from spilling out. “Please don’t. Don’t do this. Not right now.”
“I just…” Emotion welled in his eyes as he whispered, “Iloveyou, Sierra.”
I love you, too. That’s the problem.
I loved him too much to put him in danger, loved him too much to subject him to the inevitable pain that came from loving me.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
sierra
PRESENT DAY
Where’s your costume?” Reid’s girlfriend, Isabelle—who I’d officially met in person about twenty minutes ago—pouted with her hands on her hips.
We met at Colter and Ellison’s house before going to Rudy’s, and all of us were dressed up for Halloween. All of us except for Jake, that is.
“I’m not a dress up kinda guy.” Jake shrugged.
“Why not?” I asked.
I’d always loved Halloween because it was the one day a year I could be anyone but myself. That, and because when I was younger, I never got to dress up. My mom was never allowed to take me trick or treating. Granted, when I got to high school and had a driver’s license, or someone else to drive me around, I did what I wanted. The consequences still caught up with me, though, like they always did.
Jake stretched out his arms, yawning. “I just don’t see the point.”
“Yeah, that’ll change.” Colter smirked. He was dressed in khaki pants, a black cut-off T-shirt, red suspenders, andone of those plastic fireman hats from the dollar store. “Ellison was never a Halloween person and now look at her.”
“Yeah, Jake, Ellison was never fun, and now look at her!” Isabelle teased. “She’s even doing acouples costume! There’s a first for everything!”
“Hey! I was fun!” Ellison protested, crossing her arms, covering the white tank top with black Sharpie spots that she was wearing. There was no questioning what she was meant to be with the dog ears and black eyeliner on her nose. “I just never saw the point in dressing up for Halloween after college. And I’m doing this for you, Isa.” She pointed at the tiny blonde who was wearing a yellow corset with black lace accents, a black miniskirt, black and yellow striped socks, wings, and some kind of antenna.
Isa just shrugged. “I thought it was a fun idea. Besides, Rudy’s is having a costume contest, and we have to go to support June.”
Hayden raised a brow. “Juniper doesn’t even work there anymore.”
“Yeah, but I was part of the brainstorming for the themed nights, so it counts,” she cut in.
“Man, I hope your costume isn’t foreshadowing for tonight.” Jake laughed at Mikey and Juniper, who were dressed as a prisoner and police officer, respectively.
Mikey just winked, saying, “She likes the handcuffs,” as Juniper rolled her eyes. However, she didn’t deny it.
