“He’s right, you know,” Blue says, shaking his head. “You guys—both of you—act like a couple. I can tell you from experience that you can call it whatever you want, but this thing between you and Viv? It’s not fucking casual. You have sleepovers for fuck’s sake.”
I want to believe what they’re saying, but I’m afraid to take that leap. “We’re on a college campus, dumbass. Viv and I are not the only people having sleepovers.”
My buddy strokes his mustache. “True, but she buys you matching pajamas. And when you wake up, you make breakfast together. Sounds pretty couple-y to me.”
“You guys don’t get it,” I say, settling my ass onto the wooden bench in front of our row of lockers. “It’s not that simple. I don’t care what kind of faces you think Viv’s making at me or how fucking cute we look in the St. Patty’s Day pj’s she found online. And the ones she found for Earth Day are fire, by the way. But none of that matters. Viv doesn’t do relationships. She just doesn’t. I knew that when we started hooking up. I’m not gonna bait and switch on her now. That’s a dick fucking move.”
Ollie is quiet for a minute, and that makes me nervous. He’s almost as unpredictable as I am, so if he’s being silent, there’s a solid chance he’s hatching some crazy scheme.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Blue asks him, wearing a matching expression. Holy fuckballs. With these two teaming up, I’m either the luckiest guy alive or my ass is about to be cooked.
“Damn right I am,” Ollie says, like reading Blue’s mind is something he does regularly. “In fact, I can’t believe we didn’t think of it earlier.”
“I know, right?” Blue agrees, nodding as he fiddles with that damn mustache. “Honestly, it’s probably my fault. I’ve been distracted. Liza and I just got these?—”
“Can you fucking focus?” I ask, and honestly, if JT were here, he’d be laughing his ass off. The idea of me trying to rein anybody in is comical. It’s so funny, in fact, that Ollie and Blue are busting up. “I’m serious,” I say,rubbing my temples. “You two are on the verge of a damn epiphany about my love life one second, and now you wanna take a detour to sex toy town. Nope. Do that on your own time. I’m ready for your wisdom.”
“You need to date Viv.” The guys say it in unison like they’re a dynamic duo or creepy twin dolls in some twisted ass cartoon. And they’re grinning at me like I should thank them for their genius plan.
Too bad it fucking sucks.
I stand up and cross the room because I just need to move. Before I realize it, I’ve lapped the perimeter of our locker room three times.
“Uh, did you not hear us?” Ollie asks, his eyes squinting in disbelief.
“Yeah, but you dumbasses clearly didn’t hear me. I already told you Viv has sworn off relationships. That means dating, you dumb fucks.”
“Woah, language,” Blue scolds, like he doesn’t curse just as much as I do. “We are not dumb fucks. We are smart fucks.”
“The smartest,” Ollie agrees. “Because this plan is foolproof. “There’s no way it won’t work, and I’m not just saying that because I’m the greatest matchmaker to ever walk the hallowed halls of Bainbridge University, even though I clearly am. I bet you two will be sailing off into the damn sunset before too long. And if you want proof, look at my track record. Every happy couple you see has me to thank. I’m the reason half the guys on the team are blissfully paired up. Hell, I was even a wingman for Coach Anderson last fall.”
“I don’t need your resume,” I say, shaking my head. “I need you to listen to me. Viv doesn’t do boyfriends. She thinks she’s allergic to relationships. She thinks men are all cheaters and that eventually I’m going to let her down.”
“Then you need to prove her wrong,” Ollie says. “Keep doing what you’re doing, but don’t stop there. You can still do your matching pajama sleepovers, but get out of the house once in a while. Just do normal, everyday shit together. And the special stuff, too. You’re not gonna let her down. You know that. I know that. But she doesn’t believe it. Not yet, anyway. So keep proving it to her.”
I stand still, for once, as I let my buddy’s words sink in. Ever since Viv proposed this arrangement, hell, ever since I saw her sitting in my room wearing nothing but a bra and cupping herperfect breasts—maybe even since I woke up by myself in Van and Josie’s basement—I’ve known that I’m not getting out of this with my heart intact.
And I made my peace with all of that because if my fate is to love Viv McDonald without getting that same love in return? Well, there are definitely worse things I can imagine, like not having Viv in my life at all.
But if my friends are right, if there’s even a chance I can have her—that this thing between us can be real—I have to take it.
16
Viv
“There are so many choices. This is crazy. How am I supposed to decide?”
Next to me, Maggie laughs. We’re both staring at a wall of bras with seemingly endless options while Calla naps in her stroller. The store we’re in isn’t crowded, but there’s a steady hum of people moving in and out, not to mention the sliding of drawers and shuffling of hangerson racks. None of it bothers my sweet little niece. She’s snoozing like a champ, and honestly, I’m jealous.
“You act like you’re new here, but we’ve been shopping for bras since we were twelve,” Maggie reminds me.
“Yeah, because you needed them. I didn’t,” I say, plucking one from the wall to inspect it. The material is soft, but the bra is already molded. The cups stand up on their own. They don’t even need my boobs to fill them.
“Well, now you do. And that’s a good one,” she says, pointing at the bra in my hands. “I have it in multiple colors.”
I nod and check to make sure I grabbed the right size, and I add it to the stack we’ve been accumulating for the last fifteen minutes.
Maggie checks her phone and puts two more bras—bigger than the ones I’ve been choosing—on my pile. “We better head for the dressing room. Calla’s still happily sleeping now, but I want to time it right so that she finishes her nap in the car.
