Maybe I’m being unfair.
She tried to focus on Anne Elliot’s romantic struggles, but the words blurred as her mind wandered.
He’s dealing with potential war, not just a busy day at the office. This isn’t normal life, Isla.
But a treacherous voice whispered that for an Alpha, crisis might be normal life. There would always be threats, always beclan politics, always be something more urgent than the woman waiting at home.
Shadows lengthened across the library’s Persian rugs as the sun began its descent. Still no word from Damon. No quick check-in, no message through Kaelith, nothing to acknowledge her existence or ease her growing unease.
Something could have happened to him.
The thought sent ice through her veins. What if Veyrik had retaliated already? What if Damon was injured, or worse? She’d felt that terrifying helplessness yesterday watching Evelina battle two dragons. The shifter world operated on a level of violence and danger that her human experience couldn’t fully grasp.
But even as worry gnawed at her, hurt festered alongside it. If he was safe, then his silence spoke volumes about his priorities.
Dinner arrived with Evelina’s gentle presence, a welcome reprieve from her spiraling thoughts. The older woman moved carefully but with obvious improvement, her dragon healing already working its magic on yesterday’s wound.
“You look troubled, dear.” Evelina settled across from her at the dining table, candlelight softening her aristocratic features.
Isla forced a smile, cutting into the perfectly prepared salmon. “Just thinking about the bookstore plans. There’s so much potential in that space.”
“Hmm.” Evelina’s knowing look suggested she wasn’t buying the deflection. “And how are you feeling about Damon’s absence today?”
Heat crept up Isla’s neck. “He’s doing his job like he should be. I understand that.”
“Understanding and feeling comfortable with it are different things entirely.”
The gentle observation cracked something open in Isla’s chest. “I just... I thought maybe he’d check in. Send word that hewas alright, at least. After last night, I expected...” She trailed off, embarrassed by her own neediness.
“You expected to matter enough for basic consideration.” Evelina’s voice held no judgment, only understanding. “That’s not unreasonable, Isla. Mate bonds create expectations of connection, of priority. Your instincts are telling you something important.”
“Which is?”
“That you deserve better than being an afterthought in your own love story.”
“But he’s under enormous pressure. The clan, the threats?—”
“All true. But great leaders learn to balance duty and desire.” Evelina reached across the table, her touch warm and steady. “Damon is still learning that. The question is whether you’re willing to wait for him to figure it out, and at what cost.”
They finished dinner in contemplative silence, the weight of unspoken truths settling between them. But as night deepened outside the estate’s windows, Isla’s anxiety transformed into something sharper—disappointment edged with growing resolve.
She prepared for bed alone, slipping into her silk nightgown. The bed felt cavernous without Damon’s intoxicating presence, too cold after the intimacy they’d shared. She lay staring at the ceiling, every sound making her heart leap with hope that he’d finally returned to her.
Maybe he realized this is too much. Maybe a century of solitude can’t be undone by one night of passion.
The thought sent fresh pain lancing through her chest. Had he decided she was more complication than she was worth? That her humanity made her too fragile, too much of a liability in his dangerous world?
Hours crawled by with agonizing slowness. Each minute that passed without his return felt like confirmation—that she’dbeen a momentary distraction for him. That mate bonds meant nothing if the man involved refused to prioritize them.
I can’t live like this.The realization crystallized with painful clarity.I won’t be the woman waiting in the tower while her knight fights enemies, never knowing if I matter enough.
Her parents had taught her that love was a partnership, not a hierarchy. That being cherished meant being chosen, not just in moments of passion. Damon’s absence today spoke louder than any words—and what it said made her heart ache with the familiar pain of not being enough.
If this was what being an Alpha’s mate really was, she wasn’t sure she wanted it.
TWENTY-THREE
DAMON
