“I’m his only hope of winning the Undertaking, princess. He isn’t going to get rid of me.” I wish I had the same level of confidence he does. “I’m sorry I made you worry.” Now that I know he’s safe, at least for now, I can’t help but think about what started this whole mess.
He must sense the change in me, or maybe he’s just thinking about the same thing I am, because he says, “There’s something I need to tell you.” His words trigger another reaction from me, and it isn’t one I anticipated, though I probably should have since my first instinct is always to hide when something’s happening I don’t want to deal with. I want to tell him not to bother, and that whatever it is doesn’t matter, but that isn’t true for either of us.
Reluctantly, I release the grip I have on his shirt and take a single step backward. The cool air of the room instantly makes me regret the decision for more than one reason. “I heard what Jeh said. I know about you and the female.” Maybe it’s that simple, and he just wants to admit they have a past.
“This isn’t about her, not really.”
“What do you mean?” My apprehension has me taking yet another step away from him. He grabs my hand, probably to keep me from getting farther away.
“She had a message for us.”
“A message for us?” None of this is putting me at ease.
“From Ziv.” His brows lift high on his forehead as if to warn me there’s more to come. I wasn’t prepared to hear his name, and even after coming to terms with the fact that some part of him will always be with me, it doesn’t make accepting his loss any easier.
“Ziv,” I whisper. I can’t remember the last time I said it out loud, even though it’s always running through my mind.
“He wants to open up a line of communication. He used my brother to pass the information to Starla, who told me she needed to talk to me today on the field.”
“That’s why she was talking to you?”
“Yes, and that’s why I met up with her before coming back here tonight, but not because I knew she had a message from him. I just knew whatever she wanted to tell me was important.”
“You met up with her already?” I try to pull my hand from his. I need to walk, to move so I can process my thoughts and stop this mindless loop going on in my head, but he doesn’t release my hand.
“Yes, I need to know what you want me to do here, princess. He’s asking—no, he’s pretty muchdemandingI engage with him.” He touches my face again, and I realize it’s to wipe away a tear. “He wants to know if you are safe.”
A sob leaves my mouth before I’m quick enough to catch it. Sunny yanks me against his chest again, and I allow myself to cry. It’s ugly, and by the time I’m almost through, I’m embarrassed I let myself get that worked up. Sunny, however, takes it in stride, petting my hair and whispering encouraging murmurs all while keeping me from collapsing.
When I finally catch my breath, he continues talking as if I didn’t just need a twenty-minute cry. “I don’t know what is going on, Briar, but I do know he cares. Starla let it slip that this isn’t the first time she relayed a message for him, but no matter whatI said, she wouldn’t divulge who else he’s spoken to or what was said.” I hear what he’s saying, but it’s hard to accept. It seems too good to be true.
“I told her to tell him you are safe. I know it was wrong to say anything before talking to you, but I just kept thinking how I would feel not knowing where you were and if you were okay, and I told her she could tell him.” The fact that he actually sounds remorseful makes me want to cry again.
I try to put him at ease. “It’s okay, I would have agreed to that.”
“I probably shouldn’t have since he left you here wondering what the fuck happened all this time.”
“Did she tell you anything? Like why I’m here?” Or more importantly, why they aren’t.
“The only thing she said was for me to tell you there are no what-ifs.” He shrugs like he has no idea what that could mean, but I know exactly what it means. It’s Ziv’s way of telling me I’m still his and he’s still mine. I wipe my own tears this time, wondering how the hell I could still be leaking after all this and when it will stop.
“What does that mean?” Sunny questions, picking up on the fact that it does mean something to me.
“It’s just what he always told me. When he first said I was his mate, I didn’t believe him. My father… He always told me I wasn’t worthy, so I was afraid he was wrong.” I sniffle and wipe under my nose. Gods, I need to pull myself together. “I asked?—”
“What if,” Sunny finishes for me, and I nod, using the time to catch my breath again.
“And he would always say there are no what-ifs.”
“Okay, okay.” He nods as if that information now means more to him. “There has to be a reason he wasn’t in contact sooner. Is there some reason it would be dangerous for him to come here?”
I don’t know the answer to his question, but I don’t really think he expects me to either. It seems more like he’s speaking to himself. I decide to tell him what I know. “He didn’t want to take over the Ivy. He said if he killed Syrinx?—”
Sunny’s eyes go wide, and he covers my mouth with his hand to silence me. “Shush, princess. Some things shouldn’t be said out loud.”
I nod to let him know I understand, and he pulls his hand from my mouth, but I don’t feel the need to finish that sentence since he seemed to know where I was going. “He wasn’t afraid of anything,” I whisper. “His choices were always calculated.”
“There has to be a reason he’s staying there, and I would bet my pack it has everything to do with keeping you safe, because I know for certain there is one thing that scares him, and that’s losing you.” Even though the words aren’t coming from Ziv, it’s still something I’ve longed to hear. When I lean up on my toes and kiss Sunny, it’s one hundred percent in gratitude for him restoring a piece of me I thought I lost. He wraps his arms around my back, pulling my weight against him.
