Her words are exactly what I’ve needed to hear, yet they hurt at the same time because I understand why she feels the way shedoes. “I know why you’ve taken things slowly, Briar. There’s no need to rush because I will be here forever.” The moment I say the words, I hear the truth in them. I would give up my pack, my home, and even my legacy if it meant being with her. It makes what Ziv and Kage did harder to understand because there is nothing—not the school or the gods—that could keep me from finding her.
Her eyes are glassy when she smiles with doubt. She still doesn’t believe me, but I can’t blame her, not now. In time, she will learn to trust me. I’ll make sure of it.
“Kiss me?” She actually poses it as a question, as if I would deny her. I lean forward and place my mouth against hers, wanting to give her anything she needs. She breathes me in then lets out a soft sigh. Her arousal is even stronger, and I pray I will have the will to not be selfish.
When her mouth opens and she deepens the kiss, my body stiffens—and not just my dick, which can’t get any harder—with restraint. Sensing my hesitation, she pulls back while averting her eyes from mine. “I’m sorry.”
I move so quickly she gasps when I grab her chin between my thumb and finger to force her gaze to mine. “Don’t be sorry.” My voice is so damn thick, it’ll be a wonder if she can even understand the garbled mess. “I just don’t trust myself, princess. I want you so badly, I don’t trust myself.”
“I want you too,” she whispers, and I was wrong about my cock not being able to get harder. Hell, I might embarrass myself and come just from the thought of being with her.
“Are you sure? I won’t be able to stop the bond once it starts,” I warn. Bonding with a shifter isn’t just physical, nor is it just about sex. Those are large parts, but the physical joining only acts as a pathway for the true bond to form. Our bodies and souls will forever be linked. We cannot exist without the other, because it would be like removing half of my heart and at leasta third from hers and expecting them to still beat. I don’t know much about the mate bond with a fallen god or if she would survive his death. I wouldn’t have thought it was even possible since gods do not bond, but she’s proof it can happen with a fallen. As far as Kage, her bond to him was never completed, so I’m not sure if he would factor into the scenario at all.
“It’s already too late for me, but if you aren’t sure?—”
I cut anything else she might say off when I swoop down and seal my lips to hers. I don’t want to give her a chance to change her mind. It takes a heartbeat for her to respond, but when she does, her mouth meets mine just as eagerly. The soft little sounds she makes when my tongue touches hers only spurs me to pull her closer.
My beast rises, mingling our minds until there is no separation between us. In the past, I might have been worried that this kind of meshing would cause me to lose control and shift, but being so perfectly connected means I know we aren’t in any danger of changing. He just wants the same thing I do—his mate.
Her fingers tremble when she brushes them over my chest, and my heart splutters erratically in response. Every nerve ending in my body is alive and on fire, waiting for her touch. When she leans into me so I can feel her breasts against my chest as she rolls me onto my back, I nearly come undone. My eyes close with the slight weight of her on my chest. I can’t imagine feeling anything better, but then she moves her kisses lower, brushing featherlight touches over my chin and jaw, until I feel her tongue make a path on my neck. I groan in surrender, tilting my head back and exposing a vulnerability to her I would never give anyone else.
She stills, her hot breath fanning over my sensitive skin, and I feel my chest constrict, thinking she’s going to stop. “Briar?” Her name is a desperate plea. I want to reassure her if shechanged her mind, but I can’t make my mouth work to say it’s okay.
The wet tip of her tongue slides up my throat again. “Gods, you smell good.” Her voice is pitched low in a whisper. If I wasn’t afraid to move and dislodge her, I would shiver, but I fight my body’s reaction to her and lie completely still.
“We smell good, princess. That isn’t just me,” I remind her. Her body doesn’t have the same ability to exude pheromones like mine does, but her desire still perfumes the air, mingling with mine in a way that makes me feel intoxicated.
Briar lets the blunt ends of her teeth drag along my skin, and I make a sound I would never admit to creating—a whimper. My hand goes up to the back of her head, and I apply pressure, encouraging her to use those two tiny little fangs in her mouth on me. My wolf is strangely still, as if he’s dying for the same thing. He wants her to mark us and claim every inch of us.
When her lips close over my skin and she sucks roughly, my dick throbs so hard my body jerks in response. I’m about to embarrass myself, and I can’t pretend like I care. She releases her hold, and every rigid muscle tightened with tension relaxes, leaving me to feel like a puddle on the bed. I don’t know how I can feel so sedate while my heart is ready to pound out of my chest at the same time.
Catching me by surprise, Briar tosses her leg over my waist and straddles my hips. When she lowers herself and I feel her heat centered right over me, I nearly swallow my tongue. My hands are already on her hips, and I don’t remember moving them. She rolls her head back on her shoulders as her lips part to let out a soft breath I would give just about anything to taste.
When she brings her eyes back down to mine, all heavy-lidded and dreamy, I sit up and kiss her. She wraps her arms around my shoulders and tangles her tongue with mine. It isn’t the first time we’ve kissed by far, but it feels like the first timewhere there hasn’t been a wall between us. She tastes like home, warm and sweet.
Her eager hands trace under my shirt, giving me permission to do the same. Briar arches into my touch, shifting with me and rolling her hips in a perfect rhythm. I know she’s bare under her tunic, but I hadn’t allowed myself to think about how thin the barrier between my lips and her skin truly is. Now, I take advantage, gathering the light fabric in my fist and exposing her skin as I lift the material. I break the kiss and pull the tunic over her head, leaving her bare from the waist up.
My eyes drop down to trace the skin I’ve lovingly washed when she was too tired to lift her arms after the work she did on the field. I could never discount the intimacy of the shared moments, but this is completely different. I knew she trusted me the first time she plopped the soap in my palm with a look that said all I needed to know. She needed me then, needed to know she was safe, and I could take care of her. She still needs those things, but more.
I lower my head and kiss the top of her breast, savoring the way she inhales sharply and arches her back to make sure she’s even closer to my lips. She’s so small, my fingers span nearly her entire back. So many would misjudge her as weak just by her size alone, but she is the fiercest little creature I’ve ever seen. Every single time she falls, she gets right back up and tries again without a word of complaint. I can’t count the times I wanted to drag her out of the sand and curse the gods and this institute for the suffering she’s already been through, but then I might not have found her, and I’m too selfish for that.
Her fingers delve into my hair, knotting my mop into her fist as she encourages me to move lower. I find her nipple, the peak already hard. She groans long and low while her hips circle as if to mimic my tongue twisting around her tip. The urge to sink my teeth into her flesh, mark her, and take her life into me is hardto ignore, but I resist. I need to make sure she’s ready, and it wouldn’t be fair of me to ask in the heat of the moment.
I slide my mouth lower, and my hands skim down her sides, feeling her ribs under my fingers. She’s so fucking delicate, so breakable. Her body, while strong for her size, is ultimately her weakness. I know Ziv trained her, it’s evident when she spars, but it doesn’t make me any less terrified for her every time she’s in the sand. I don’t know how I’m going to protect her if she gets sent to the Undertaking.
“What’s wrong?” Her soft voice distracts me from my thoughts, and I realize my ear is over her heart, and I’m clinging to her like she’s already slated to die.
I release my death grip and pull back to look into her eyes. “I can’t lose you, Briar.”
Her expression softens before she gives me a sad little smile. “I’m not going anywhere.” She drops her forehead to mine and says the rest in a whisper. “At least not by choice. If I disappear, it’s not because I wanted to. When she took me last time, she stopped time.”
“Who?” She’s never talked about how she was taken from the Ivy other than to say it was a dragon that delivered her here, and that wasn’t even something she told me directly.
“Oaktar.” She utters the goddess of envy’s name without any hesitation. Even now, she doesn’t show any fear. I’ve been so caught up in Briar and keeping her with me, I haven’t been diligent about finding out how she got here in the first place or why. That needs to change, but not right now. Right now, I need to focus on my mate and our bond.
“If something does happen, Briar, promise me you’ll remember I will come for you. No matter how long it takes, I will find you.”
She slides her hand up my cheek, a rueful expression still curling her lips. “I know you will try.” She kisses me so gently, Ibarely feel her lips brush against mine, but it sears deep into my soul. “I’m sorry I waited so long to let you in.” Her confession is pure, but I don’t need an explanation. I doubt I would have the will to live if I were in her shoes. She’s so much stronger than she gives herself credit for.
