After a moment, he lowers his head again and does something that would knock me off my feet if I were standing—he crawls forward. The heat rolling off his body reminds me of what it feels like to stand next to a fire. I could cry. When he deliberately places his head on my leg in a show of trust, I almost do tear up.
Without a word, I tip my head back and shut my eyes. If my next move gets me killed, so be it. I don’t mean to hold my breath when I lift my hand and sink my fingers into the fur behind his ear, but I must. It’s only when my heart starts hammering against my chest that I actually remember to exhale.
“I’m going to keep you,” I mutter, feeling at peace for the first time in weeks.
MOROS
Word reachesme that Frostburn has a new arrival only hours after Taggert goes missing. I’m not dumb enough to think the two incidents aren’t connected, but no one is saying it. I could go straight to Foley to find out exactly what’s going on, but then the headmaster would think I owed him for the information. I’d rather figure out what the fuck is going on by myself.
As the days begin to pass without new details emerging, I start to consider the report may have been incorrect, but Starla has never fed me bullshit before. I doubt she would knowingly do it now, which would mean that someone would have had to relay the information to her with the understanding she would bring it to me. That’s just too much fucking work, plus Starla is completely overlooked by the tutors and other trainees, which is why she is so useful. She hears things no one else does and sees things no one else is allowed. The fact that she can suck dick like a vampire jonesing for blood is only a bonus.
I haven’t seen the female in a few days, but that isn’t unusual after I’ve used her. She has a bit of a masochist streak that I’m happy to indulge. However, the fact that she isn’t permitted or chooses not to see the healers is an inconvenience now when I want to know if she’s heard or seen anything else. I may even have to resort to searching her out.
“Moros,” Jeh calls as if it isn’t the first time he’s spoken to me.
“What?” I don’t bother looking in his direction. He probably just wants me to see him doing something stupid or to say something he thinks is funny.
“What’s up? You’re zoned out.”
“Just thinking.” I get up from the shitty beds they force us to sleep on here and stretch. I feel Jeh’s eyes on me, and I let him look. My beast is vain and craves the attention. Thankfully, it’s more discriminate about whom we fuck. I think if I ever even looked at the other shifter in the same way he looks at me, he wouldn’t give up until I agreed to take him into my pack, preferably into my bed. He’s already hinted at the idea, but he doesn’t know my pack back home would eat him alive—literally. The Ashcroft Pack doesn’t accept outsiders easily.
“Where are you going?”
“To take a shit. You want to watch?” I hate the fact that I have to share a room and that Jeh is always so fucking eager, like a lovesick pup. It grates on my nerves. Thankfully, he doesn’t answer before I shove out the door, because that could have backfired on me if he had time to answer. If I was really heading to the bathroom and that fucker came looking for me, I would likely kill him, then I would have to deal with the hassle of getting a new bunkmate—not to mention it would royally piss off Foley.
Frostburn is nothing like my home, though they could rival each other in size. This place is utilitarian at best, while Ashcroft Manor would be described as opulent in every way. I suppose that comes from being one of the wealthiest packs in the realm. I shouldn’t admit it, but I miss the comforts of home, my bed especially, and the lush green grounds. Here, I’m forced to spend most of my time indoors, even shifted. We can take the low temperatures, but the terrain of the mountain is nearly impassable, even to my beast. The icy bluffs and cliffs would be more suitable to a thunderbird or bear, though I’m not sure either exist anymore.
Thoughts that I’ve dismissed countless other times niggle my brain, reminding me that I shouldn’t even be here. I should be at the Ivy, where all the best trainees go, but my father, the current alpha, struck a deal to save my pussy brother. He knew Eris would never survive Frostburn, so I was sent in his stead while he went to the Ivy. His lack of skills will be ignored because of his last name, and he’s sure to survive by relying on the stronger trainees around him.
My father says I should be pleased with the appointment. As the future alpha of the pack, I should want to prove myself and be able to handle anything. I think he’s just hoping I die in the Undertaking, surrounded by weak allies, so he can keep his position.
I’m already fired up when I step foot into the small gym. My skin feels too tight. I know I will need to shift soon or risk losing control at the wrong moment.
There are two other elites in the facility. We don’t even acknowledge each other, and they give me a wide berth. I’ve been here for nearly a year, so I know their names and abilities, but not much else, and I plan to keep it that way until I know for certain that they are useful.
I use the time in the gym to push myself and my beast into appeasement. There are few things other than fighting that make him happy. Physical exhaustion will have to do since fucking is off the table for the time being. It would be too dangerous for whoever was dumb enough to let me take them while I’m in this state.
My mind wanders as I torture my muscles until my legs shake in an effort to keep me standing, but at least I come up with a plan to figure out if there is indeed a reason behind Taggert’s disappearance.
After eating halfmy weight in shitty food that does nothing but fill the emptiness of my gut, I finally feel confident enough to shift without killing anyone unfortunate enough to happen upon me.
The moment I open myself up to my beast and shift, I realize something is different. Our entire body is quivering with anticipation. I start to wonder if I really have power over my animal like I always thought. It’s what proved I am an alpha, but I certainly don’t feel in control now.
I take a back seat to my beast as it tears through the halls as if he’s on a mission. Our communication is far from perfect. Thatis something that develops over time, but I know he is ruled by his baser instincts, so there are only a few things that could have him on the hunt—food, fighting, or fucking. I thought I sated two of those needs, but maybe not. Someone could wind up dead if I don’t rein him in, but I find I don’t have the will or desire to make an effort to leash him.
In fact, I’m still feeling the itch under my skin that drove me to shift in the first place, proving he’s not the only one affected. Hours pass with us stalking through the halls to look for the invisible threat to no avail. The first time we came across another trainee, I was certain my beast was going to rip them to shreds, but he just ignored them, and the same thing happened over and over until I felt like we’d explored three quarters of the institute and not gotten to the bottom of whatever was driving the compulsion.
Eventually, we crash, finding a corner on the level below the dregs where there aren’t any other tutors or trainees to disturb us. My muscles twitch roughly each time I’m on the verge of falling asleep, making rest elusive. I think about returning to my room, but something stops me—the same something that has been tugging on my senses all evening and driving me nearly insane with inaction. My lids lower with exhaustion, and darkness is closing in on me with welcome quickness, but just as my muscles relax, I’m jolted awake again as if I’m falling off a cliff, and that’s exactly how I feel—completely out of control.
MOROS
My eyes spring open from a deep sleep. Every inch of me is fully awake, including my rock-hard cock. The ache is impossible to ignore. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I limped back to my room in the early hours of the morning, still discontent but searching for a familiarity that doesn’t exist here.
I lift my head from the pillow, fully expecting to find someone in my room that doesn’t belong, but the only thing I see is Jeh sleeping soundly in his own bed across the way. Confusion muddles my thoughts. I’m sure the lack of blood flow to my brain is the cause, considering it’s all in my dick.
I groan when I sit up because it almost hurts when my cock pushes against my pants. A quick glance at the window tells me the sun has long been up—not that I would be able to go back to sleep like this anyway. The need to get the hell out of this room is almost as strong as the ache in my groin.
The moment I open our door, my beast overtakes me. The shift would be impossible to deny, but I don’t even try. I recede deep within myself, far deeper than usual. A tremor of fear rattles my core. Is this what non-alpha shifters experience? Being shoved down so deep it feels like it would be impossible to claw my way out?
