“Touch her? I’m not going to touch her,” I scoff.
“You’ll want to. How could you not? She’s perfect and made even more so because she’s unaffected by magic. You’ll always wonderwhat if.” There’s so much emphasis on his final words, I can’t help but let the idea play out. What if I could touch her? What if she is unaffected by my magic? Then I see the image of her dying in my mind, writhing in pain, and I shake the notion of what-if away like the nightmare it is.
“No, it’s not possible. No one survives my curse—no one!” I let him hear the finality in my tone. There’s no room for doubt, not when it comes to her.
“We’re on the same page,” he confirms.
“Then why did you even tell her about me?”
“Because she needed to know she is safe with you.”
“She didn’t need to know anything about me.” Why do I hate admitting that out loud?
“Yes, she does. She needs to know she can trust you when you’re the one watching over her.”
“She didn’t need to know I was watching over her at all.”
“She did,” he argues. “She already suspected you were following her.”
“Only because she got tangled up with Corin and I had to intervene.”
“She mentioned that. Where were you?”
“Sixth floor, west wing.”
“How did she end up over there?” He continues to pet my creature, and I’ve almost gotten to the point where I can pretend to ignore it.
“She was either searching for something or wandering around aimlessly. I’d bet it was the latter.”
“And Corin, what was she up to?”
“I couldn’t stick around to find out. I had to get her out of trouble.” I gesture to Briar, even though it’s more than obvious I’m speaking about her.
“She does have an abysmal sense of direction. I wonder if Syrinx knows Corin was snooping around the restricted libraries,” Ziv muses out loud. The fact that he didn’t try to conceal what is in that area proves he already assumed I knew, or he’s trying to show he trusts me.
“She didn’t seem too happy that Briar happened upon her.”
“Interesting, but she’s not important right now, Briar is.”
“You’re the one asking questions about the instructor,” I remind him.
Getting right back on topic, he adds, “Syrinx wants Briar working with the other novices and instructors. You’ll have to be with her when I can’t be, which is another reason she needed to know who you are.”
I knew this was an eventuality. Most of us are dropped right into the deep end of the institute, but it feels different, knowing it’s Briar who will have to fend for herself. Well, she’ll never truly be by herself because the fallen is right—I will be at her side. Maybe it is better she knows who I am.
I examine her sleeping features. What-if filters through my mind, but I shove the idea away just as fast as it materializes. Every minute I spend near her will be torture, but I wouldn’t give up even a second.
“How much does she know about?—”
“She knows what you would be to her if?—”
“If I wasn’t cursed,” I interrupt, and Ziv nods once.
“She’s naïve. She believes your magic won’t affect her. Don’t be surprised if she tempts you to touch her.”
I spin around and scrub my hands over my face, but it doesn’t get the image of my creature on her knees, begging for me to touch her, out of my head.
“After the trials, when I know she is safe, I will kill you if you choose.”
