“I told you that you should have let me kill them.”
“What?” Maybe I didn’t hear her right.
“I never asked you to do that for me.”
“You didn’t need to ask,” I argue.
“You should have just left it to me. You can’t even look at me. You’re going to hate me soon, if you don’t already.” She turns her head to look out the side window.
I slam on the brakes, and her seatbelt locks in place, keeping her from hitting the dash more effectively than her hands as she reaches up.
“What the fuck, Winger?”
“Don’t you dare try to push me away. I begged you to stay home.” My anger has a new target. I was worried about her thinking I was a monster before, but I will be at the thought of losing her.
“You’re the one who pushed me away. I don’t want that on your conscience. He’s not worth it. None of them are worth it. I would rather they live than have you hate me!” she screams.
I blink with confusion. I know my head is in a fucked-up place, but nothing is making sense right now. She’s worried about me hating her? “I’m wet and covered in blood. That is why I stepped away from you.”
“Oh, bullshit, Winger,” she snaps. “You don’t like the kind of person I turned you into. I saw it on your face.”
I laugh, I can’t help it. Max shoves at my arm, which is still locked on the steering wheel.
“Don’t you laugh at me!”
I’m still chuckling darkly when I say, “Sweetheart, I was this person long before you. The only thing you saw in me was regret that you had to witness it. He died too fucking easily if you ask me, and so will the others, but they will fucking die.”
Max narrows her eyes on me, as if she’s not sure what to think. “You say that now, but what if you hate me later? You’ll regret it, and it will be my fault.”
“Wrong. My only regret is not finding you sooner and stopping those bastards from ever touching you. I will live with that every day, but you’ll be right there with me, Max, so get out of that pretty fucking head of yours and accept it.”
She throws herself back in her seat and grumbles, “You’re going to accept my foot up your ass in about two minutes.”
I take my foot off the brake and resume driving. Good thing it’s late and there aren’t many people around.
By the time we make it back to the loft, Max has stopped complaining under her breath about how she’s going to kick my ass, which I didn’t mind at all. Listening to her soft promises of violence actually calmed me more than I thought possible forty minutes ago.
“Let’s hope we don’t run into your little girlfriend and have to explain why you’re soaking wet.” She snorts, getting out of the car.
“Not my girlfriend.”
“Smart man,” she agrees, looking me up and down. My jeans feel nasty, and there’s still enough water between my toes to make squishing sounds when I walk. “You’re getting straight in the shower.” Max stops me the moment the door to the loft closes behind us by reaching for the hem of my shirt and saying, “Up,” meaning my arms. She lifts the thing as far as she can before I take over and remove it the rest of the way while she starts on my pants.
Naked and exhausted, I let her lead me to the shower. Max ensures the water is hot before instructing me to get in. I watch her undress, dropping her clothes on the floor, before she gets in after me and grabs the soap to lather me up.
I stand there while she takes her time washing every inch of me, even bending down and cleaning the bottoms of my feet, making my toes curl. “I can’t reach your hair,” she admits softly, speaking for the first time in a while.
I just grunt and grab the shampoo instead of sitting my bare ass on the tile like I thought about doing just so she could do it for me.
With an unspoken agreement, we head straight to the bedroom after she does most of the work to towel us both off. I know I’ll return the favor at some point, but I can’t say I mind letting her take care of me.
The sheets are still a mess from earlier, but we climb right in, and she wraps herself around me, burying her nose in my neck. She’s so still, I assume she’s sleeping, but her soft voice proves me wrong when she mumbles, “Please don’t hate me. I think I love you.”
A ball forms in my throat, and a wave of emotion has me ducking my head even closer to her. “Never, and always.”
EPILOGUE
2Years Later
