“You might,” she says gravely. “You might learn something about me that could change your mind.”
“I won’t,” I tell her with certainty.
There’s a small frown curling her full lips, but it’s her hazel eyes that get me. They are glassy with a sheen that speaks of unshed tears.
“Waylynn, I love you, and you are perfect the way you are,” I say, speaking the words I’ve thought before but couldn’t voice. I don’t want her to worry I’m going to leave her or that she isn’t good enough. I need her to understand just how important she is.
“Memphis…” She shakes her head, and I swear she looks even more distraught now. I watch her swallow thickly and open her mouth, but Oswald chooses that moment to dash up the stairs, down the hall, and crash onto her bed, making us both bounce with his weight.
“I thought I might be missing something. Bates is probably lurking in the hall, trying to sneak a peek, but you guys are totally G-rated.”
Waylynn’s face flushes crimson, and I know whatever she was about to say won’t be uttered now. I’m a little disappointed. I didn’t think I needed her to say it back until she didn’t. Before I said those words, I was completely confident she felt for me the way I feel for her, but she almost seemed sad when I told her, and I don’t know what to do with that.
Waylynn
I’m so selfish.That’s what I’m thinking as I lie curled up between Memphis and Oswald. The only thing I felt when Oswald bounced into the room was relief when I realized it gave me an excuse not to confess my truth to Memphis. It bought me a little more time before I tell them about my past and admit I’m still hearing voices on occasion. I wonder if it’s even worse that it seems like I only ever hear the three of them anymore.
Memphis tried to pretend that what happened in the few minutes we had alone wasn’t a big deal, but I could see and feel the shift in his demeanor the moment we were interrupted. My brain is trying to tell me he already knows, that he somehow figured out my secrets even though I never uttered them, and that’s why he made it clear we should just go to bed since we have a lot of plans tomorrow. That, though, is why I’m still awake hours later, wondering what the hell I’m going to do.
I shift again, trying to get comfortable, hoping my mind will shut off long enough to allow me to fall asleep, but it feels hopeless. For the first time in a while, Memphis shifts behind me, and I hold my breath on instinct. I don’t want him to know I’m awake.
His hand snakes over my side to rest on my lower stomach, and he curls himself behind me. His warm breath is fanning against the back of my neck, and I let out a tiny exhale, forcing even breaths, and let my eyes slip closed.
For the first time since he uttered those three words, I allow myself to feel them instead of the dread I felt when I realized I need to tell him the truth, because I love him too, and he deserves better from me, they all do.
The fear of rejection isn’t gone, not by a long shot, but I shove it to the back of my mind and focus on what I have right now in this moment. Within minutes, I’m slipping into a peaceful sleep.
* * *
“I’m goingto drop him off, then I’ll be back.” Memphis plants a kiss on the top of my head before ushering a keyed up Oswald to the door.
“I want to see my name on you at the game.” He points at me, then disappears out the door with Memphis behind him.
“Crap,” I mumble.
“What’s wrong? Don’t tell me you got rid of it,” Bates asks from the stool next to me. He’s sipping coffee and finishing an omelet he made for himself.
“No, but I wasn’t expecting to wear it again so I didn’t wash it.” I glance at the clock. I might have enough time if I could dry it, but I don’t know if it will shrink, and I liked the fit.
“I promise I won’t tell anyone,” he says in a conspiratorial whisper, “but don’t let it slip to Oz, especially if they win again. Then he will think it’s a good luck charm, and he won’t ever let you wash it or wear anything else.”
I wince. If the game weren’t in a few hours, I would try to get another shirt, but I don’t want to waste the time. “I’m going to make sure I didn’t get anything on it. Be right back.” Before I can spin to grab my crutches, Bates stops me with his hand on my arm.
“Let me go grab it for you, that way you don’t have to go up and down.”
“It’s in the back of my closet,” I warn, trying to think if I have anything in there that would be weird or embarrassing.
“So I get to paw through all your stuff?” He smirks.
Now I’m really nervous, but I can’t think of anything other than clothes in there. “Think you might find something you’d like to keep and wear yourself?” I tease.
“Something I might like to keep? Yes. Wear myself? No. Be right back.” He scoots off the stool and moves with a quickness I envy. I look down at the air cast, thinking I can’t wait to get the darn thing off. At least it doesn’t ache anymore.
Bates returns swiftly, and as soon as I see him, he brings my shirt up to his nose and inhales deeply. “Hey,” I mutter.
“Smells good, like you.” He tosses the shirt at me, and I do catch a slight sweet fragrance, thank goodness. “Looks clean too, I checked when I tried it on.”
“You did not.” I laugh.
