“Wavy, do you even know this chick?” Oswald looks at me doubtfully.
I give him the only thing I know about her. “Her name is Gwen.”
“Cool.” He speaks in a way that makes it clear he thinks it’s the opposite. “Can I walk you?” I stammer for about a second before Gwen intervenes, telling Oswald that we have plans, which is a lie. “Okay. How about ten minutes? We can go chill outside, then she can come find you when we’re done.”
Gwen informs him I don’t want to talk, which prompts Oswald to ask, “Waylynn, you don’t want to talk to me?” I notice he doesn’t use my nickname, and it bothers me that I even notice.
“I just don’t think there’s anything else to say.” The truth is I don’t think he has anything to say that I want to hear. I know I’m weak-minded when it comes to him and Memphis, so I’m afraid I’ll let them bend me until I break.
Oswald calls me out on my lie. “That’s bullshit and you know it.”
“Give it up, man. I did a two-second search on you and found the pictures. I’m sure she did too, which is why you’re here begging to explain your hookup last night.” Gwen throws out my insecurities without me ever having told her. No wonder she spent the hour on her phone. Now I’m even more embarrassed.
I shoulder past Oswald. I need to get out of here fast. I don’t want him realizing what a hypocrite I am when he sees how I feel about him with another girl when I let his brother whisper in my ear and kiss me after he already kissed me.
“Stop!” Memphis’ dark tone halts me flat out for a breath, but as soon as the primal part of my brain that reacts to him isn’t controlling my limbs, I haul ass out of the building and run, not caring who sees me or how stupid I look holding down my boobs while I’m doing it.
I get a stitch in my side twenty feet from the building and slow my steps, but the moment I do, someone collides with my back. The only thing that stops me from eating pavement are two strong arms that wrap around me and lift me right off my feet.
I can feel him breathing against the back of my neck, and I know just from the feel of him and his scent that it’s Memphis. This tight hold could only ever be Memphis. I don’t struggle or fight, but I do pant, “Put me…down…please.”
“Not if you’re going to run,” he says darkly near my ear and lifts me even higher as if to prove he can.
“I won’t run,” I promise. I don’t think my legs would even allow it. I might actually need help standing up after this. I feel all wobbly, and it doesn’t have anything to do with the short distance I ran.
Slowly, he inches me down, but he doesn’t release his grip.
“I won’t run,” I remind him.
“I know,” he murmurs against the back of my head. “I just need to make sure you hear me. I’m sorry I freaked out.” His fingers curl into the fabric of my shirt, holding me even tighter around my waist. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you and said all those awful things. It took me back to a place when I felt helpless, and I thought it meant I would lose you.”
I can feel my shoulders sag when I exhale. This is exactly what I was afraid of. The problem is I want to forgive him. I want to pretend he didn’t rub me raw with his words and bring so many of my fears to the surface.
“I need you to know that I understand I was wrong. That I will never…never… I will never let something like that happen again.”
My walls are crumbling. He’s saying everything my heart wants to hear, even if I didn’t admit it to myself, but there are still so many other things between us. I don’t think I’m ready to tell him why I take the medicine, and I know after seeing the pictures and wanting to throw up, there’s no way I can have the kind of relationship they want.
“Waylynn, please say something.” He lowers his head so I can feel every breath he takes on the back of my neck.
“I don’t know what to say,” I admit softly.
“Tell me I’m an asshole and to never speak to you like that again, then tell me you’ll let me make it up to you, even if you’re mad. Tell me I haven’t ruined this.” It’s the only time Memphis has said the wordstell meand they haven’t come out as a demand. The plea is clear in his tone, and I feel it all the way to my core.
“You were a butthole,” I admit, unable to commit to the stronger word because I do understand why he overreacted to the pills after Oswald’s confessions about their parents’ drug overdose, but I was hurting from his accusations. I also can’t explain why I was defensive and just as sensitive as he was about the entire thing because I’m not ready for my illusion of normalcy to collapse around me.
“I know, sweetness.” He sighs, and his body begins to relax behind me.
“Let her go before I call the campus police,” Gwen orders. I feel Memphis lift his head to look at her, but he doesn’t move to release me.
“Does anyone else not see this?” She looks around for help from everyone else walking by.
“What’s your problem?” a guy mumbles as he walks right past us, irritated that we’re blocking the sidewalk.
“Him, he’s holding her against her will,” she answers, even though he’s clearly not listening.
“No, Gwen, it’s okay,” I say because my first instinct is to make sure Memphis doesn’t get in trouble.
“It’s not okay. He chased you down,” she tells me as if I need the reminder.
