“And she might want to know things about you,” Modeus adds.
Egan uses his free hand to point to his chest, then he touches his finger to mine. Making it clear we are connected, as if everything is that simple.
“Maybe some simple signing then. We don’t have to worry about it now.” I rush to include the last part. I don’t want him to feel as if I find him lacking. “So tomorrow, we’re going to Harlow’s. We’ll have a good look around,” I say, returning us to the original topic.
Modeus nods slowly. “What does your gut tell you about Reaper?”
I let out a heavy breath that probably reeks of garlic and red sauce. “I don’t want to think he was involved if thereissomething to be involved with. He seemed to stand with me today without question, but I don’t know if I can trust myself when it comes to him. Maybe I’m too close.” It’s hard to admit that I’m not confident about whether or not I can trust him.
“He was pissed right along with you today about the Thana situation,” Modeus comments.
“I really wasn’t paying too much attention to him,” I admit.
“I was. He wasn’t nervous or fearful. He was pissed.” Modeus leans back in his chair. The movement is so casual, yet I’m still drawn to watch his every move.
“Are you saying you sensed that like an empath?”
“I wouldn’t say I’m as skillful as an empath. I was made to sense lust and fuel it. Reading emotions is just a byproduct of that.”
“First, don’t diminish who you are or what you’re capable of. Second, that’s an amazing ability. I’m sure it can be exhausting. Are you always aware of how other people are feeling?” It’s a selfish question. The last two days have been a bit of a fog. I’m not really sure I can even analyze everything I’ve been feeling, and poor Modeus has had to deal with it all too.
“It’s mostly like background noise,” he tells me, and I get half of a calming breath in before he adds, “Except with you. We don’t even have to be in the same room for me to be aware of you.”
The rest of my sigh leaves my chest in a whoosh, and I end up coughing. “Shit, I’m sorry,” I tell him once I’ve gotten myself under control.
“Why would you apologize?” He tilts his head to the side.
Egan hits the table with his free hand to get Modeus’ attention. He points at my demon before moving his fingers up to pinch his ear, then he points at my chest.
“She might not like that,” Modeus warns before glancing sideways at me.
“Let me guess, he wants to know what I’m feeling?” I deadpan. “For a male who doesn’t speak, you sure have a lot to say.”
Egan ignores me and jerks his chin at Modeus.
“She’s afraid—”
“I am not,” I interrupt.
“Of how easily her heart accepted us,” Modeus finishes, not bothered by my outburst.
I sink back into my chair. I guess he isn’t wrong. “A lot has happened rather quickly,” I defend.
Egan squeezes my wrist. I don’t look up at him, so he does it again harder. Reluctantly, I allow him to capture my gaze. My fallen’s expression is stern. He’s letting me know he doesn’t like being ignored. I nearly roll my eyes but refrain. After a long second of him watching me, he finally points at my heart, then hits his own bare chest twice with his open palm, hard enough that he leaves a red mark behind.
I tsk and grab his forearm to make sure he doesn’t do it again. “I get it. You feel the same.”
“He does,” Modeus confirms.
I do a double take of Modeus. “You knew what he was to me before I did,” I recall.
“It’s only fair.” Modeus shrugs, giving Egan a bland look. When he turns his focus back to me, he adds, “He was this huge void of nothingness, but then he just came alive.” He sounds as if he doesn’t fully understand what happened himself. “I knew it was because of you.”
I don’t know how to respond to that. Is it the truth? I want to look over at Egan, but I’m afraid he will deny it for some reason or be glaring at Modeus for saying it. After a breath, I can’t help it. I look over to my left, peeking at his profile before I finally get the courage to look into his black eyes.
Egan taps the underside of my wrist twice, confirming Modeus’ words. Shit, that was unexpected, so was how hearing it makes me feel…like I’m special, like I did something for him.
Gods, I really am going to turn into a cinnamon roll.
