I do a little snooping when I reach the kitchen to find the mugs. Right after I pour myself a cup, Remy reaches around me and snags it. Without reacting, I grab another mug and start the process again. He doesn’t bother with cream or sugar, just leans against the counter and brings the mug to his lips while watching me over the rim. I pretend he’s not a huge distraction as I doctor my coffee.
I’m already second-guessing what just happened in the hallway. I want to think they really did want to be with me, and that it’s not just the bonding ritual we never finished, but I’m having a hard time convincing myself it’s the truth.
“What’s the plan for today?” Felix asks. He’s standing really close, like so close, I can smell his clean scent, and it may just be my imagination after Remy’s blatant assertion from earlier, but he smells like sex too. I dart my eyes over to him. He’s holding his own mug, so I back away to give him access to the coffee maker. I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised he drinks it now, but it feels strange not knowing everything about them.
“Uh, I’m not really sure yet. I’m going to give Pop a call and go from there. I did get clearance from my supervisor to stay longer to continue with the case though.” I don’t mention that I’m looking into getting a slipkey that would allow me to stay even longer, even indefinitely. That feels like it’s too big, like I’m making assumptions.
Remy eyes me over the rim of his cup as I continue to back away. He’s watching me like he knows what I’m thinking. It’s unnerving. Having one of them who can sense my emotions is enough, I don’t need Remy reading me too.
“What are you guys doing today?” I change the subject.
“We’ll know when you tell us.” Remy gives me a saccharine sweet smile. It’s at total odds with his bad boy persona, but I know he has a heart of gold anyway.
Turning, I place my mug on the table. “You know you don’t need to follow me around. I’m not going to skip town on you guys.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Grayson mumbles under his breath as he brushes past me to get to the cabinets. His tone is gruffer than I would have expected after last night and this morning. He’s moodier than a cat that wants to be stroked but bites your fingers for trying.
I narrow my eyes on his back. “Silly me, I thought we might have been past this. I gave you the explanation you asked for. How long are you going to hold a decision I made years ago over my head?”
“When are you going to stop acting like there was something preventing you from going to her? She’s not the only one responsible for us being apart.” There’s an edge to Felix’s tone, making me think there’s also some underlying anger behind them.
“I think we’re all getting a little tired of your shit, Gray. We get that you have a lot going on in that head of yours, but it’s time you stop taking it out on Frankie. Stop blamingherfor your choices.” Remy gives Grayson a look that seems to say so much more than his words, which already divulged a lot.
Grayson turns so he’s facing off with Felix and Remy. “That’s probably easy for a dud to say.”
I gasp, and it catches Grayson’s attention for the briefest moment before he’s staring down Remy again. I can’t believe he would use the fact that Remy doesn’t have much natural magical ability against him like that.
Remy lets out a dark chuckle. “Low blow, bro, but I can take it. I know you’re really just pissed at yourself and need someone else to take it out on.” Remy opens his arms wide as if to invite an assault.
Grayson narrows his eyes even more. The air is charged, like the right words or a single move could make the entire room explode.
“Why don’t you give us all a break and call Julia? It’s obviously been too long since you’ve been drained.” Felix presses his lips together the moment the words are out of his mouth, then looks over at my confused expression.
“Drained?” I question. What could he mean?
Remy moves to stand next to Felix as if he thinks he might need to intervene between the two men. “Grayson decided a long time ago he’d rather be empty than deal with his emotions or anyone else’s. Julia is just one of his regulars.” Remy lifts a single brow while staring right at Grayson after laying down what clearly seems like a challenge.
“Fuck you, Remy,” Grayson snarls between his teeth.
“Yeah, I’ve heard that before. Too bad the only emotions you never seem to lack, even after they strip you, are self-loathing and hopelessness.”
Grayson springs forward as if he might attack, but I was already anticipating the move, so it’s easy to get right in his path. I plant my hand on his chest, and Grayson freezes. He’s so raw, I don’t even need skin contact for his emotions to infect me, but it’s not the anger I was expecting. It’s sadness, bone-tired sadness and loneliness, and it amplifies my own.
Slowly, he lowers his head to look down at me. The rage that was contorting his features softens until I can see crinkles in the skin around the corners of his eyes and mouth. “Grayson,” I mutter softly, because I don’t know what else to say in the moment. I want to ask why he never came to me, but I know. He was scared, scared of losing me and the guys. He’s convinced himself we’re going to leave him anyway, so he’s pushing us away first.
Grayson knocks my hand off of his chest, breaking the connection when he realizes just how deep I delved into his motives. “What?” he asks defensively. “Can you blame me? I don’t have anything to offer. You don’t need my money or connections, and that’s all anyone wants from me.” He backs away slowly.
“Hexes and curses, Gray! We’ve been telling you for years that’s just the shit they leave you with that makes you think that bullshit.” Remy huffs in exasperation.
“Then why didn’t you go to her all the times you said you were going to?” Grayson points at me. I’m still in so much shock, I don’t know what to say.
“Because you wouldn’t come with us, and she chose all of us, not just the two of us,” Felix snaps. “We didn’t want to ruin our chance because you couldn’t pull your head out of your ass.”
“She freaked out when she realized the ritual was still open. If we showed up at her door and explained everything without you, she probably would have believed what you’ve been trying to convince her of since she showed up—that you don’t want anything to do with her. We’re trying to save all of us, you fucker. Quit making it so much harder,” Remy argues, continuing where Felix left off.
“Fuck you,” Grayson says again, but this time, there’s no anger behind his words.
“Yeah, yeah, say it again for those in the back. You might actually feel better if you let me,” Remy mutters and picks up his coffee, using it to salute Grayson as if some big shit didn’t just go down.
