“I plan to later.” Remy covers the two pans on the stove with lids and turns to face me.
“So…” I drag out the word, expecting Felix to make good on telling me what they were talking about with Dad.
His eyes jump from mine to Remy’s, where they stay for a long moment.
“It’s probably going to piss you off,” Remy warns.
I lean my head back and stare at the inlaid ceiling, giving myself a second to get comfortable with whatever they might say. When I feel as calm as I can, I lower my eyes, give them my attention, and say, “It can’t be worse than me trapping you all in a partially completed ritual. I’m sure I’ll get over it.”
“We’ve been checking up on you since you left,” Felix blurts.
I’m slow to turn my head because I know I must have heard him wrong. “Huh?” I squint in his direction.
“We kept expecting you to come back, but you didn’t, so we” —Felix points between himself and Remy— “eventually went to see why.”
“When?” I scoff disbelievingly.
“Four months after you left, and at least once a month since,” Remy supplies without an ounce of reservation.
I snort and shake my head. “Yeah, right.”
“They did.” Grayson slides his hand into his pocket and leans back on his heels a little. If I didn’t know any better, I would think he’s uncomfortable.
“You’re telling me you came to the city, once a monthfor years, and never once chose to speak to me or let me see you. Why?” I don’t understand why they would tell me this if it’s not true, but I don’t understand why they would do it either.
“He told you why.” Remy lifts his hand and gestures toward Felix. “We wanted to know why you didn’t come back, what was keeping you there.”
“But you kept coming back monthly?” I’m baffled.
“Well, we couldn’t figure out why you didn’t come home. You were miserable and barely left your shithole apartment, so we let you be and gave you the space you asked for.” Remy shrugs his heavy shoulders.
“If you knew I was miserable, why not talk to me? Why didn’t you show up at school like we planned?” I accuse. That was the point when I realized everything had truly changed, that there was no going back. Remy sends a pointed look in Grayson’s direction, so I turn to face him too.
“Because I told them you didn’t want us to.” Grayson lifts his chin just the tiniest bit, as if he’s bracing for something.
“Why the fuck would you tell them that, and why would you just believe him?” I glance between the three of them but end up focusing back on Grayson.
“You may be able to sensesomeemotion when it’s tied to magic, but that’s just a taste, a moment. You can act like it was us that made you change your mind that night, but you were terrified before you even got into that circle,Frances.”
I think it’s one of the first times he’s spoken my name since I’ve been back. It’s too bad he made it sound like he’s mocking me. “Since you have so much more experience deciphering emotions than me, would you care to tell everyone why I was so scared?” I challenge.
Grayson makes a raspberry sound when he scoffs. “Because you didn’t want to go through with it.”
I shake my head slowly. “For someone who thinks they know emotions so well, you sure don’t know shit about mine. I was freaked out because I thought I was trapping you all to be with me, like I was stealing your chance at something better.” I end up raising my voice, even though it’s not my intention.
“Bullshit!” Grayson snaps at me.
“Oh, great comeback, Grayson. You sound pissed. Is it because you were wrong back then, or because you can’t accept it now?”
His eyes narrow on me, and I know I’ve struck a chord.
“I fucking told you we should have followed her that day. I don’t know why I let you convince me not to!” Remy points his finger at Grayson. Hearing the anger in his voice unnerves me. This isn’t like earlier when they were squabbling. After all this, I won’t be responsible for them hating each other just to prove why I left, so if Grayson needs to believe he was right, so be it.
“Stop please, just stop. I was too afraid to tell you I didn’t want to go through with it,” I say hurriedly, moving to stand between Remy and Grayson, holding my hands out to keep them apart.
Grayson pulls in a breath through his teeth. “You’re lying.”
“What?” I glance at him, pretending to be confused.
