“Louder,” he growls. I say his name over and over until my throat is so dry, I can barely speak. The full effect of the orgasm hits me mid word, and I moan the rest of his name.
Rafe releases the bed frame and leans over me, letting out a loud moan of his own. I can still feel my inner walls spasming, and he jerks, proving he can too. His lips brush the side of my face and jaw until I’m letting out breathy sighs and moving against him just to feel the friction of his body still inside mine.
“I’ve got to go back to the gym,” he rasps, still breathless after turning me onto my side and cuddling against my back.
“Oh, shut up.” His chest and stomach are a wall of muscle.
“Is that you confirming sixty minutes a day of cardio with me?” His voice is sleepy. I feel special. I bet not many people have heard it.
“Heck no! I hate the gym.”
“We don’t need the gym, sweetness. Just a bigger bed.”
I click my tongue at his cheekiness. Soon after, I feel him relaxing. His arms grow heavier over me, and I know he’s about to fall asleep. “Rafe, I love you.” It’s surprising how easy the words are to admit.
He takes a deep breath, and it’s a long time before he releases it. He doesn’t respond, but I don’t need him to. Not right now. Besides, he’s already shown me he does, even if he can’t say it.
I pat his hand and close my eyes. I don’t even want to know what time it is, everything can wait for a few more hours.
Chapter 32
“Rafe, I love you.” Her words still echo in my head days later. I feel like I can even hear them in my sleep.
I don’t know why they terrify me so much, but they do. The fact that I didn’t say anything back is even more frightening. Will she leave me now?
Even if I didn’t mean it, I could have just said it. That’s what normal people do, right? Problem is, I’m the furthest thing from normal, and I would have meant it. With everything in me, I would have meant it, but I couldn’t get my mouth to work. Now I’m fucked. I can’t just blurt it out. What if it’s the wrong time or place? What if she doesn’t believe me? “Fuck!”
“Man, I thought you were pussy deep in Lucy every day. Why are you so pissed?” Iron drops into a chair in my office.
“Don’t call her that.”
“Her name?” His eyes get all big. “What should I call her, Felony?”
“No. Just don’t think about her and it will be fine.”
“You are so fucking irrational, man.” Iron chuckles.
“Why are you here?” I ask. I hate that I slipped enough to even show emotion.
He shrugs his big shoulders. “I ain’t got shit to do. You’re selling off most of the clubs, and everybody is laying low because nobody knows if you’ve finally lost your shit and are going to kill everyone. I’m bored.”
“Sounds like a personal problem,” I drawl and look at my computer as if there’s something else I need to be doing. There is, but I don’t think watching the cameras for Lucy is very productive.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see a wide, shit-eating grin cover Iron’s lips. I know he’s about to piss me off, but I don’t rise to the bait like he wants me to. “Tell me what it’s like to finally be fucking the chick you’ve been obsessed with. Is it better? Does it make the sex…” Iron bares his teeth and growls.
I move my eyes in his direction. I could give him a glib response, say something that would be bragging and make her less important at the same time, but instead I confess the truth. “It’s like glimpsing a piece of heaven I don’t deserve.”
Iron’s smirk drops, and his eyes go unfocused. There’s a breath of silence before his devil-may-care grin is back and he snorts. “Fuck, you’re pussy-whipped.”
That brief pause was enough to expose his soft underbelly. My words affected Iron, he’s just not ready to admit it. He thinks no one knows about his secret, but he has tells, just like I did.
I couldn’t touch another woman after becoming obsessed with Lucy, but Iron is trying desperately to fuck Posey out of his system by using every willing female. It will never work.
He stands abruptly. “Hit me up if you need something handled,” he mutters and walks out of my office, leaving the door open just to aggravate me.
I click on the tab near the bottom of my computer and bring the cameras to Lucy’s house back up. It takes me several seconds of scanning to find her, but I can just make out her form in one of the fenced in fields. There’s a little girl sitting on top of one of the horses, and Lucy is holding the ropes, slowly guiding it around. She’ll be out there for a few more hours at least.
In one of the other cameras, I spot her mom with a box on her lap. She’s mostly packed and is set to officially move out today. I can’t fucking wait. Lucy’s been staying at her house for the past two nights without me so she could enjoy these last few days with her mom, even though it’s nearly killing me. If that doesn’t say love, I don’t know what does.
