I grunt. If that were true, he wouldn’t have called to threaten me. I hang up on him and toss my phone into the center console.
“Can you tell me what’s going on?” She sounds more afraid than she does mad. I don’t like this fear though.
“I knowI’m asking a lot, but can we talk when we get home?” Rafe glances over at me with wide eyes. His face doesn’t usually give away much expression, and the fact that it does now speaks volumes.
“Okay,” I agree. I’m worried for so many reasons. Worried he lied to me, worried he kept things from me, but I’m mostly worried about the fact that I’m already making up excuses as to why it would be okay if he did.
Even though I said I would wait until we got back to his place, my mind is already going over the what-ifs and trying to piece things together. Tiger called him Rex. The girls at the club talked about Rex like he was the owner, something special. I look over at his profile, his chiseled jaw, gorgeous face, and muscular body. I bet they all would have been salivating over him. That makes me irrationally jealous, which is concerning.
I always knew there was more going on at that club than what I was aware of, like it was a front for a lot of other shit, but I thought Winger was the one running the show. It didn’t change how I felt about him, because he always treated me well, better than well. He treated me like he cared, and so has Rafe. I rub my temples. Am I being reasonable, or is it just because I love him?
Wait, do I love him? Shit, I don’t know. I know I would be sad if I couldn’t see him, talk to him. Rafe slows the car and turns into his driveway. I look around because I can’t believe we made it here so fast. I must have been in my head the whole drive.
When he parks in front of the garage, he looks over at me and touches my cheek. I lean into his palm. I want him to tell me something that makes everything okay. I don’t want to lose him. I was sad about my mom telling me she was moving out, but this feels like my heart is breaking.
“What haven’t you told me?”
“Come inside?” he asks softly.
I nod, and he releases me to get out. He checks over his shoulder more than once, as if he thinks I will try to run from him. Rafe meets me on my side of the car and takes my hand as we head up to his door. He’s making me more nervous with every second that passes.
Once we’re inside, he flips the deadbolt and presses a few buttons on a pad next to the door.
“Alarm seems to be working,” I note.
“They finished the interior today.” His voice is kind of flat. I’m not used to him using that tone with me.
We left in such a rush, the lights are still on in the hallway. I follow Rafe into the living room, where he takes a seat on the edge of the sofa with his head lowered and his hands hanging between his knees. I sit on the couch across from him and wring my fingers together in my lap, feeling a little lost.
“They call me Rex because it’s the title I earned.” He raises his head and looks at me. His gaze feels different than the other times he’s looked at me, more distrustful, scrutinizing.
“So it’s like a nickname, not your real name?”
“It’s a title. You and maybe three other people know my real name.”
I don’t understand the distinction of him saying it’s a title. “What does it mean?”
“King,” he answers simply.
I blink rapidly. “Of what, the city?” My reply is meant to be flippant, but Rafe dips his chin once in response. “I don’t understand, how can you be king of a city?”
“Because I run it. If it’s illegal, I’ve had my hands in it.” He opens his palms as if to show me proof.
I scrub my hands down my face. I already suspected something like this, but hearing it is still shocking. “Isn’t that really dangerous?” It’s the first thing that comes out of my mouth, because truth be told, I’m more worried about his safety than I am about the other crap right now.
Rafe’s eyes pop wide, like that’s the last thing he expected me to say. “Uh…it can be.” His voice becomes a little high at the end. “I have a pretty big reputation though. I’ve earned a lot of respect. No one has come at me for a few years.”
I nod, he’s being a lot more open than I expected. That’s probably bad for me. “Is this like a lifetime thing or…” I leave the question hanging. I feel like I’m having an out-of-body experience. Neither of us should be this calm, but it’s not like the existence of this kind of thing is new to me.
“I could walk away, but it wouldn’t change my past or what I’ve done. My hands aren’t clean, Lucy.”
“How dirty?” I inquire quietly, not really wanting the answer. When he opens his mouth, I lift my hand and stop him. “No, wait, I don’t want to know.” It’s dumb and so selfish, but I don’t want to know.
Rafe takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a long second. When he opens them again, he looks more like the man I’ve come to know, not the defensive one on high alert.
I think about how cold he is to everyone else, then I think about him sitting at the kitchen table with my mom, stiff and uncomfortable, not the king of the city. Crap, does the fact that he’s been to my house put her in jeopardy? My God, what do I do with all this?
If I was smart, I would tell him to take me home and forget we ever met, but I don’t want to. I would much rather go back in time a few hours and forget I ever found out.
