“Everyone seems to respect you.” She sounds as if she’s trying to make me feel better.
“Everyone fears me. There’s a difference.”
She shakes her head slowly. “But this place is only possible because of you. You are Havenfall Harbor.”
I touch her cheek. “Quinn, sweetness, you’re giving me way too much credit. I’m not some altruistic saint. I run Havenfall because it’s a necessity, and because it was a dream of someone I once knew.”
“Who?” She searches my face as if she already knows more than I’ve given away. Her thirst for knowledge is always present.
I could avoid the question. Quinn would let me off the hook. She rarely pushes after a refusal, but there’s a part of me that wants her to know, wants to see her reaction when she finds out. “Her name was Iris, and I caused her death.” Quinn’s brows dip, and she frowns.
“Griff, you feel responsible for her death, that’s not the same as causing her death.” Evan sounds weary, as if he’s already tried explaining this to me before. He has, but I can’t fully absolve myself of her death.
“I… Can you tell me about it?” Quinn bites her bottom lip. She’s hesitant to even ask.
“There isn’t a happy ending, are you sure you want to know?” I’m selfishly hoping my warning will pardon me from having to tell her. Quinn nods, and her fingers tighten over my thigh.
“She was my lover before I was blooded.”
Quinn’s eyes widen only briefly, and I hear the spike of her pulse. “Who was she? What happened to her?” Her eyes are darting around the room, looking for evidence of Iris that she may have overlooked, but it doesn’t exist.
I hate thinking about the past. It was long ago, and I feel as if I’ve lived so long that the past usually wants to swallow me up when I give it too much power. Feeling Quinn’s hand on my leg is grounding me to the present, and it gets my mouth moving.
“Her family worked for mine. We were young, defiant. She was everything I thought I could never have, and that made her a temptation I could not resist.”
“You loved her,” Quinn observes.
“I thought I did.” I’m only now able to admit the truth to myself. Evan turns to look at me. His gaze holds acceptance, as if this was something he’s known all along and he’s happy I’ve finally come to acknowledge the truth. “I loved the thought of her. She was free of the chains that bound me to the duty of my family, innocent in a way I never was.” My tone is flat, unaffected.
Quinn’s hand inches up my leg as she strokes my thigh. Her eyes are full of more emotion than my words, she looks half lost. I want to soothe the unease from her features, but I know it will only grow as the rest of my story unfolds.
“My father brought a vampire to our home when it became evident I would soon go through the transition. Her name was Eva, and she was from another powerful family, not unlike my own. She was already blooded, and they hoped she would ‘cure me of my obsession with the human’ and help ease me into my new life.” Those were the exact words my father said to me when he told me of Eva’s arrival. I’d been in bed with Iris at the time, and his words hurt her. They just pissed me off. I should have known then I didn’t truly love her. I was more concerned with my father’s plans for me than I was Iris’ feelings.
“Eva was tempting, but it was her blood that ensnared me. The first time she gave it to me, I believed it to be an accident.” I shake my head, knowing that’s not true. “Iwantedto believe it was an accident,” I amend.
“Wait, were you transitioning?” Quinn’s perception is spot on. I was not ready, but after a taste, Eva and her blood was all I could think about.
“No, she used it as a means to control me.”
Quinn
The conversation we started at Evan’s about why he chose to drink only bagged blood springs to the forefront of my mind. I’m outraged someone would do that to him. I clench my teeth to keep myself from saying anything. I want to call this Eva woman a bitch and ask where she is, but I manage to keep my mouth shut.
“She and my father had devised a plan, one where she would feed me her blood sparingly before my transition and through it, hoping I would become more complacent about my place in their world.”
“Because he knew once you became blooded, you would either leave or take his place as the head of the clan. He wanted all the power and needed you to keep it.”
Griffin shrugs at Evan’s words, seeming to agree. “He could have always just killed me before I even transitioned.”
Evan snorts. “He was too greedy for that.”
“I can’t pretend to understand his motives, but I live.” Griffin doesn’t sound grateful exactly, more accepting. “Eva became sloppy. She was giving me more and more blood to make sure I was agreeable until it got to the point where I thought I couldn’t function without it. I was addicted, or as close to it as one could be.”
“But you’re okay?” I ask, even though the evidence of him being fine is right in front of me. Still, I find I need the reassurance.
“I am, but back then, I wasn’t sure I would be. My transition wasn’t a smooth one. I was frenzied when it finally hit. I nearly drained Eva. As soon as my father got her away from me, they gave her Iris.”
I suck in a startled breath. “They killed her?”
