My hips rotate and lift, chasing him. Ares removes his hand and I make a sound of protest, I was just starting to really like that. He breaks the kiss and pushes up on one arm, looking down at me. Using the same hand he was touching me with, he takes a hold of himself and adjusts so he’s right at my entrance. Not taking his eyes off mine, he says, “This might hurt a little.” He winces like it might be more than a little. “I wish I could take the pain for you. I promise to never take what you’re giving me for granted.”
I nod and bite my lip. So itdoes get worse. My muscles tighten before he even enters me. Instead of pushing right in, he runs the tip up and down over me a few times, stopping and focusing on my clitoris. I relax, melting into the sheets with him over me. That’s when he lines himself up and rocks forward. At first it’s the same foreign feeling from before, maybe a little more of a pinch, but as he continues to rock the burning starts.
My face must tell him I’m hurting, because I’m being very careful not to utter a word. Ares makes a sound of distress, his eyes and mouth turning down at the sides. “I’m so sorry Laura.” Then he thrusts forward. The slight burn intensifies, stealing my breath, and I can’t keep in the whimper. “Ouch.” I knowmy face is scrunched up in pain, but I can’t help it.
Ares doesn’t move a muscle. His hipsare locked against mine, his lower body frozen. He dips his head and kisses next to my eye, near my temple. “So sorry, sorry, sorry,” he mutters between little kisses on my cheek and ear.
I blow out a breath and feel the sting again. Knowing he can’t see me I let my eyes fall closed and grit my teeth. It’s not horrible, but it sure as shit isunfucking comfortable.
Knowing he hasn’t finished yet is a little worrying. I want it to at least be good for one of us, but I’m not looking forward to that sharp pain again either.
Ares is still whispering his apology when I run my hand down his back. A little of the cold from the room has settled into my bones, making me feel brittle. I need his heat back; I need him to make this better for both of us. I don’t know how.
Thoughts of inadequacy fill my head. How could I have ever thought I was good enough for him, for any of them? Tearsbegin tofall from my eyes and I turn my face away from Ares, so they won’t land on him.
The shadows in the room deepen, brushing even closer to us on the bed. The air goes colder, asI feel the first tendrils of thesmoky shades brushing against my skin. Ares, not noticing, stays frozen above me. “Ares.” I shiver, my breath fogging.
“I’m so sorry,” he mutters again. How can he not feel how cold the room is? My teethstart tochatter. I run my hands over his back again drawing his attention. “Ares, it’s so cold,” I stammer the words, sounding funny because I can’t stop the quiver in my jaw.
He pulls back and looks down at me, his gaze then goes around the room. He mutters a curse and closes his eyes, his lips move as if he’s reciting something, but I don’t hear a word. The darkness recedes, pulling its icy fingers from around my legs. Ares’s warmth immediately takes over, and his skin feels hot compared to moments before.
He touches his forehead to mine and nudges my nose with his. The overwhelming feeling of not being good enoughbegins to fade right along with the frigid temperatures. My mind clears and I realize not all the emotion welling up inside of me were my own. Some of that doubt and worry came directly from the man above me.
Ares is still deep inside me and the burn has turned into a low ache. My muscles relax, and the relief is almost instant. He blows out a heavy breath, more of a gasp really, and runs his hand down my side. In the wake of his touch he leaves behind an echo of his caress. The shadows are back, but theseare controlled by Ares. I don’t know how I can feel them on my skin, but I do.
Eyes hooded, he leans in and gives me a simple brush of his lips, but it feels like he’s coming back to me. My short nails score his back, I don’t want him retreating from me again. “Are you okay?” I ask between kisses.
His hand cups my breast as an answer, his thumb teasing back and forth over the peak. My inner muscles clench again, but this time the pain is absent. Ares pulls out of me slowly and rocks back in, his hips pushing against mine. “Oh.” The surprised sound comes from me.
Pushing up with one arm, so only our lower bodiesare connected, he looks down at me, his eyes possessive as he watches where we’re joined. His hips roll as he pushes forward. His eyes falling closed as his mouth drops open. This is what I needed from him, Ares to let himself go, to bring both of us to where we need to be.
Ihave no idea what came over him a few moments ago, but I intend to ask him about it, just not right now.
Ares takes his hand from my breast, and bringing it up to his mouth, he places his thumb between his lips. When he pulls it free,it’s wet. Not wasting a second, he glides his hand between us, placing his damp thumb right against my clit. I still feel full, but the delicious pressure on my clit takes the slight pain and turns it into something more. My hipsbegin torock, searching. Dropping back down on his elbow, Ares crashes his lips to mine.All thoughts of doubt, and worry are erased as he moans into my mouth. “So close, please,” he pleads. I nod, agreeing. I amreallyclose, that feeling of losing control settles lower in my stomach. I pull away from Ares, breaking the kiss. His lips go to my neck licking and sucking.
I bite his shoulder as the first wave of an orgasm crashes over me. His head tips back and he lets out a long, low groan, his hips still pushing against mine. The euphoric feeling falls away much quicker than any other time I’ve experienced an orgasm, leaving me feeling a little sore. Ares shutters above me, his moans of pleasure give me a secret satisfaction.
He leans down and places several worshiping kisses on my lips, and every time I think me might pull away he dips back for another long, languid kiss.Ares rolls over onto his side, he pulls me with him to lie on his chest, his body slipping from mine as he does. I shudder, not enjoying the feeling.
Placing a kiss at my temple, he murmurs, “Are you okay?”
I give the question some thought before answering. “I’m a little sore,” I tell him honestly, squeezing my thighs together. My legs feel a little like jelly, but a smile blooms on my lips. The hard part is over. From everything I’ve read or heard from listening to the girls talk at school, it shouldn’t hurt like that again. If Ares could make my first time so good, how much better could it get?
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” I trace my finger over his chest, wondering what he might say.
Ares blows out a long breath. He turns and scoots down, so we’re face to face. Grabbing my hands between us, he kisses the tips of my fingers, not looking at me. “This isn’t the right time to talk to you about this, but I need to be honest with you.” His words have me holding my breath, what could he possibly have to tell me?
“I’ve never done that.” I jerk back and glare at him, knowingI must have misheard him. He understands my confusion and amends, “Been with a virgin.” I let out my breath. “I didn’t know what to expect, but I hurt you.” He cuddles his face in closer to mine, giving the tip of my nose a kiss. “I never want to hurt you.” Ares wraps his hand under my hair and around my neck.
“I knew it would hurt silly, it was how you were after that freaked me out.” Ares reaches down and snags the black comforter from the end of the bed, and slides it over both of us.
“Oh, that.” He tries to sound light and airy, but fails.
“Yeah, that.” I place my finger under his chin to make him look at me. “Talk to me.” I search his eyes, the tawny brown is present and his pupils are small discs of black.
“I told you I was like a shifter too, but that I didn’t really change forms. Well, that’s kind of true. I don’t really change forms, but sometimes it’s like the shadows are sentient. Like they aren’t just a part of me but are something else,” he confesses, watching my face for my reaction.
I lick my lips, thinking about what hesaid. “So, it’s someone else controlling the shadows?”
