CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
RILEY
As I walk into Finn’s apartment, I’m so damn nervous my hands are trembling.
In the garage this morning, he rushed in, and his eyes searched until he found me. It filled me with an emotion I don’t understand. Hope, maybe. Quickly, I learned that a disaster had brought him to me, and I jumped into action. I organized the mechanics, backed up Ali and Big Jo as they took charge of two small crews, and got us moving.
I’m proud of how the bikers came together, truly working like a team and in harmony with the rest of the gayborhood. The whole time, I was focused on the task at hand, but the second we stopped, I couldn’t get over one thought.
Finn turned to me. He looked at me like he wanted me, even needed me. It felt so right it hurts.
This was probably the worst time to blurt out that I need to talk to him, but I can’t keep it contained any longer. I know that I want Finn. I know that I’ve never met another man like him. And I’m not going to waste any more time worrying over the right words.
I just need to say it.
“Can I get you anything?” Finn asks as we step inside, and he immediately walks toward the fridge. “I just realized how thirsty I am.” He glances at me over his shoulder. “I guess racing against a lube disaster will do that to you.”
I nod, anxious, as I kick my boots off. “Thanks. A water would be great.”
I glance around the apartment as Finn pulls out a couple cans of soda water. There are splashes of color all around, like a couple Funko Pops by a potted plant on a bookshelf, and the purple throw pillows on the long couch. The place is tidy and comfortable, and everywhere I look, I see signs of Finn, like the stack of cookbooks from the library on the kitchen table, the sneakers I recognize by the door, the framed picture of him with a woman who looks like his mom, smiling together on a beach.
Finn hands me a glass of soda water, snapping me out of it. “I need to explain,” I blurt out immediately.
He nods into the living room. “Please. Come in,” he says, and I follow him to the couch, where we each sit on one end, a few feet between us.
I already feel like I’m fucking this up. I’m already making it awkward, but there’s only one way through, and that’s to keep going.
“At the café the other day,” I tell him as soon as we sit, “I was rude to you. And like I said, I’m really sorry about that. I was having a particularly bad day, but that’s no excuse. I shouldn’t have barked at you and stormed away. There was someone—” I cut myself off and take a swig of the soda. “It’s a long story, but I can try to explain later. I’ll tell you whatever you need to know. Everything.”
If he agrees to give me a chance, then no more secrets, and no more shame.
Aware I’m rambling, I gulp from the soda again.Get it together, self. I’ll never forgive myself if I screw this up.
“Riley,” Finn starts, “I appreciate your apology.”
“Thank you,” I tell him quickly, “but that’s not everything. Because Finn, I realize we’ve got a complicated relationship and a rocky history. It seemed for a while there like we couldn’t look at each other without erupting into an argument. And I know I’m not the most easygoing guy. But the more time I spend with you, Finn, and the more I see you around town, the more I like you. I like your optimism, your joy. I like the way you bring the neighborhood together, and even in hard times, you have fun and remind everyone what really matters. I like your geeky taste in movies and books. Your smile.” My voice catches in my throat. “This might sound ridiculous, and I might be totally humiliating myself here.” I swallow. “I want to ask you out, Finn. I want to take you on a proper date, try to show you who I am, and see if you’ll give me a chance. Because you’re not the last person who I want to see, Finn. You’re actually the first.”
Finn blinks. A warm, soft smile begins to fill his face while he looks at me, holding my eyes. He’s so damn handsome, my heart aches.
“You don’t sound ridiculous, Riley,” he says. “And you don’t have to apologize for being yourself, either. I know that you’re not an ogre.”
I stare at him as his words slowly make their way through my thoughts. “What?” I ask, and my voice breaks.
“I was at the café to meet you that day. I lost my flower, along with my phone and wallet. It’s why I was late.” He reaches out and takes my hand. “It’s me,” he says. “We’ve known each other for years, Riley.”
I grab his hand and hold tight as my heart jumps into my throat. “I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so, so badly.”
Finn nods. “Me, too.”
We both launch forward, meeting in a kiss that slows. Finn drags his lips across my mine, and my hand goes to his side. We kiss again, deeper, and I begin to process the truth.
It’s him. It’s really him.
“Fuck,” I gasp as we each ease back. “You showed up to meet me, and I yelled at you and ran away. I’m so sorry. I thought that MorningEnthusiast, that you, had stood me up. And I just couldn’t handle seeing you after that. Seeing Finn.” I shake my head, dizzy as the worlds collapse in my brain. “Fuck.”
Finn draws his hand down my face. “It wasn’t the best first date,” he admits. “But I understand. You were hurt, and you’d been honest and vulnerable enough to send me an email warning about that exact possibility. I would have messaged to explain immediately, but without my phone, I couldn’t access the email.”
“You’re still willing to consider me? Even after all the ways I’ve acted like such a jackass?”
