Which, I realize, I kind of am.
When I get back to my apartment, I scarf down some leftover chicken curry and crack a beer, which I drink in the shower. Sitting on the couch in my robe, I open up my email and check to see if there’s anything new from MorningEnthusiast. Some horny fae-on-vampire sex should put me in a better mood. There’s no new message, but once again, I catch him online. I hesitate like before, but I’m eager for a sympathetic ear, so I force myself to open the chat.
NotAnOgre: An important question has crossed my mind. Do prophecies extend across multiple dimensions?
MorningEnthusiast: Interesting! Just because something is destined in our plane of reality, that doesn’t mean it’s destined in every other plane. Hence the infinite possibilities of the multiverse.
NotAnOgre: Only one way for our heroes to find out.
MorningEnthusiast: Fuck in every dimension they can enter?
NotAnOgre: Great minds.
MorningEnthusiast: Sorry that I’m a little slow with my contribution. Life has been hectic.
NotAnOgre: Not a problem. Still dealing with professional problems?
MorningEnthusiast: I successfully fought back and might have won, although some of my allies went further than I hoped. Now I’m just struggling with residualguilt. My punches landed harder than I intended. Metaphorically, of course! I’d never hit someone.
NotAnOgre: I’m sure you’ve got nothing to feel guilty about. You did what you needed to, so don’t let anyone give you shit for it. And hey, congratulations on winning your battle, slugger.
MorningEnthusiast: Thanks! How about your situation?
NotAnOgre: Not great. I played it nice and tried to compromise, but it was too little, too late. Made a big mess, and now I’m in deeper shit than before.
MorningEnthusiast: Yikes, sorry to hear that.
NotAnOgre: My own fault, honestly. Hey, I’m glad one of us is coming out on top.
MorningEnthusiast: I took your advice and tried to find an outlet for all my emotions.
NotAnOgre: Oh yeah, did it help?
MorningEnthusiast: Not exactly. Possibly, I’m just more worked up than I was before. But I did have fun trying to exorcise the demons. Again, I mean that metaphorically, of course.
NotAnOgre: Demons would be a hell of a problem. Literally.
MorningEnthusiast: Rim-shot. Do you have a plan to turn things around?
NotAnOgre: Does escaping into a world of fantasy and adventure count?
MorningEnthusiast: Hey, that’s my plan, too! A dependable epic to distract from the lingering complications of my success.
NotAnOgre: Nice. Immersive stories can fix anything.
MorningEnthusiast: Haha, I wouldn’t go quite that far. But there’s nothing quite as refreshing as leaving this reality, even for a temporary break.
NotAnOgre: Exactly.
A moment passes with neither of us typing. I try to picture him on the other end somewhere, perched at his laptop or maybe sitting behind a desk. When the image starts to take shape in my mind, I realize that I’m imagining Finn, and I quickly shake my head to chase the thought away.
I really need to stop fixating on that guy. It’s embarrassing. There’s no way he’s into me.
MorningEnthusiast: Please tell me if you’d rather I never bring this up again, but considering we’re both somewhere in this great state of New York… wouldn’t it be wild if we met in person?
My pulse kicks. I sit up straight and hurriedly type my reply.
NotAnOgre: That would be wild. Feels kind of risky, too, to be honest.
