“If we both feel that way, maybe we could find another time to see each other. Somewhere actually private. Like somewhere we could have a date?”
Hank swallows, and I see him searching for words.
“I know,” I say. “No expectations once we’re back to civilization. But now we’re back, and I really like you, Hank. I want more time with you, if you’re interested, too.”
His face softens. I see the gentle curve of his cheek, the cut of his jaw, the shadow of his cleft, and I’m fascinated by all of it, the face behind his beard.
“I like you too, Elliot. But I don’t think it’s that easy. For one, I’m looking for a serious relationship. I’m ready to settle down,and I don’t know that you want the kind of life that I want. Let alone the kind of relationship. And casual sex is off the table for me, considering we’re already emotionally bonded.”
“If by settling down, you mean making a nice domestic life together and committing to a monogamous relationship, I would happily give it a try. I’ve never had a serious boyfriend like that, so it will be new for me. But I do think I want that.” I hold my hands up, realizing I might be going too fast. “Not that I’m trying to commit right now.”
“Oh.” Hank rubs the back of his head. “You’re interested in something serious with me?”
I take his hand across the table. “I like who I am with you, Hank. And not just because of trauma-bonding. You make me happy, and I think I make you happy, too. And I know we’re really different people with a lot of barriers between us, including your career and my family and a tabloid circus that’s waiting outside. But if there’s a chance that there’s something real here, I don’t want to let all that other stuff stop us from trying.”
Hank rubs his thumb in a circle on the back of my hand. “You do make me happy, Elliot,” he says. “And you’re right. Something works when we’re together, and I’m curious, too.” He searches my eyes with his own, serious. “But we’d have to be discreet. We would have to keep our relationship secret while we figure things out.”
“Agreed,” I tell him, excitement growing as I realize we’re really doing this. Hank is willing to give us a chance. “We need meaningful time alone to see where this goes.”
Hank considers me before nodding. “Then let’s do that. One step at a time. Would you like to come to my condo in a couple days, and I’ll make you dinner?”
I light up. “I’d love to.”
“Just us,” Hank says. “We’ll start to figure out who we are to each other.”
“That sounds perfect.” I lift up his hand and brush a kiss over the back of his knuckles. “And so you know, I’m totally going to leave my socks on when you say yes.”
