“He means,” Kavya says, “something between you and Clay.”
They both look at me expectantly.
And for a moment, I want nothing more than to just tell them.
There is something between me and Clay. Something purely physical. But it’s starting to feel like so much more.
But that would be betraying my arrangement with Clay. And even though I trust these two to keep a secret, telling them would mean bursting the bubble. Expanding beyond the private world Clay and I have made together.
It would mean having to admit how I feel about him leaving.
According to my standing agreement with Clay, it’s not an option anyway. I’ll happily process all of this with my friends once he’s safely several hundred miles away.
Instead, I summon a laugh as I glance around, making sure no customers are close enough to hear us. “Me and Clay? Can you imagine?” Incapable of lying, especially under pressure, I keep it vague. “He’s not at all my type.”
Which he isn’t. At least not historically.
“You do smile at each other a lot,” Kavya says as she returns to her milkshake.
“I smile at everyone a lot! Literally all people receive a smile from me. It’s part of the work I was put in this world to do.”
Finn taps his chin. “Okay. You and I have a shared value in spreading cheer.”
“Like Christmas elves," Kavya deadpans.
“But a smile can mean a million different things,” Finn adds.
“Do you really think that the way I’m smiling at Clay means I’m sleeping with him?”
“Not at all,” Kavya says. “What we’re saying is—what if you did sleep with him, though?”
She and Finn both give me knowing looks.
I take a few steps back mentally. They haven’t figured out the entire truth yet, so maybe this is okay. Maybe I can actually get a little advice.
“There are a million reasons Clay and I would be a bad idea,” I answer, lowering my voice although there aren’t any customers near. “He owns this building, for one, and could make or break my future if he decided that’s what he wanted to do. Plus he doesn’t even live in the state. He’s like Randy, opposed to relationships and love. In fact, Clay and I are fundamentally incompatible in several important ways.” I swallow. “Right?”
“Maybe,” Finn says, although I see he’s skeptical.
“You smile at everyone,” Kavya says. “Clay only smiles at you.”
That stuns me momentarily, and sends a warm shiver through to my core.
“If I were interested in Clay, I would ask him out,” I say, walking us back to safer ground. “Thank you for the encouragement, but it is not needed.”
Naomi walks up to the counter with a bundle of flowers. “Are you talking about asking Clay out? I’ve thought you two were meant to be together since the first day you walked into my pastry shop.”
“I’m not asking Clay out!” I object. “I’m not even considering asking Clay out.”
Because I’m already sleeping with him. But no one needs to know that!
Naomi drops the bouquet on the counter and smiles at Kavya. “You put this one together, didn’t you?” she asks her.
Kavya nods. “You know my style.”
Naomi leans forward. “So does my girlfriend. The way she talks about your bouquets, it almost makes me jealous.”
“It’s not my fault flowers are erotic,” Kavya jokes, and Naomi laughs.
