Nicholas’s smile dances in his eyes as he looks at me, but he doesn’t push it. “Fantastic,” he says. “And I guess back to the matter at hand, you sticking around another month or twodoesn’t have to be a problem. Right? Although I think we should take it one night at a time first.”
“Okay.” I swallow. “Nice and easy.”
He sips his tea, and I do the same, the floral scent wafting up.
“It’s relaxing lavender,” Nicholas says as I look at the cup. “With honey.”
It’s not bad, and I take another sip.
“To get it out of the way now,” he adds, “I require safer sex practices.”
The tea catches in my throat, but I think I cover up decently. “I use condoms,” I tell him, and Nicholas nods.
“Good.” He gives me a sympathetic smile. “How about you?” he asks. “Have you thought much about what you’re looking for?”
I rub my knee. “I don’t know what this is going to mean for me after I leave Allentown. I’m bisexual, I guess, but I don’t know anything beyond that. I just know that right now, everything in my life is turned upside down, but last night felt good.”
I’m rambling, so I get straight to the point.
“I’m eager, “ I tell him. “And there’s a lot I haven’t done.”
Nicholas’s smile is genuine. “Guess we’ll have a list to get to. I can be down with that.” He laughs. “Depending on the list.”
I cough out a laugh, too. “It’s not like that.”
“Don’t worry,” Nicholas says. “And I hear you loud and clear when you say you aren’t interested in romance. I won’t expect anything from you that we don’t talk about explicitly, and I trust that you’ll do the same. Clear expectations will make this work for me.”
I’m glad to hear that he understands me. Relationships lead to disappointment, and if I do this, I don’t want it to turn messy. Hurting Nicholas would suck.
“You meet some guy you want to marry,” I tell him, “just let me know. We’ll cut this off.”
“If my future husband presents himself over the next weeks, we’ll deal with it then. Same for you. If you want to start hooking up with someone else, or do, make sure you tell me. And let me know before you and I hook up again, please.”
“Doubt you need to worry about that on my end.”
Negotiating sex with one person is exhausting enough.
Nicholas shrugs. I notice his eyes barely dart to the side, toward his notebook.
I grunt under my breath. Of course. “Do you have more notes prepared?”
“No,” he says immediately. “I think that’s it.”
I can tell that he’s hiding something. “You have more notes in your notebook,” I say. “Don’t you?”
Nicholas sighs. “It just so happens by pure coincidence that I might, sure.”
“What is it?” I ask, wanting to get it all done and over with, but also I can see it’s making him slightly shy. He’s squirming or something, and this is a side of him he’s never shown me before.
My chest pinches.
Weird.
Nicholas caves easily. “It’s nothing. But since you’ll be experimenting, I thought we could round out the arrangement, and maybe you could help me try some of my sexual interests, too? Like I’d be experimenting, in a way.”
I blink.
Nicholas has fantasies.
