“It’s cool,” Kavya says. “Love just gets you really emotional. It’s part of…”
Kavya trails off. Her eyes linger, and she suddenly drops the can of soda water she’s holding. Cursing, she squats to pick it up, and I see Zooey approach.
She’s wearing a stylish green-and-white dress with an abstract print resembling vines, and her long hair is worn down in a luxurious blowout, pastel purple flowers woven in everywhere. Her look is immaculate, truly stunning.
“Clematis,” Kavya whispers under her breath.
“Oh how the tables have turned,” I tell her.
Kavya hisses at me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she whispers and turns quickly back to Zooey. “Hi! You look amazing!”
Zooey shrugs shyly. “Thanks! I like to dress up when I have the right occasion.”
She turns to me and greets me with a light hug, wishing me a happy birthday. After some good clematis talk, I politely extract myself, giving Zooey and Kavya some time together. Whatever their connection is about, it’s clearly growing.
Nance links one of my arms, and Sue links the other.
“Just know, Nicky,” Sue says, “we all want you to be happy. Whatever that looks like for you.”
“Thank you,” I say. “I appreciate it.”
“Now go get those birthday spankings,” Nance says and let out a cackle as she releases my arm and the two women walk away.
I spot Clay across the bar, sitting awkwardly between two conversations, and decide to head back to him.
As I play host and weave my way through the party, my thoughts circle over the conversation with my friends. The idea that I’m falling in love with Clay seems almost obvious, something that I’ve known for a while, even if I wasn’t ready to admit it. But having them all point it out makes it that much clearer that I need to take this seriously.
My feelings have grown and changed, so Clay’s might have, too. It could upset the last days we have together when I share what I’m feeling, but if there’s even a sliver of a chance we could have something more, I need to go for it. Our time together has been unforgettable, and I don’t want it to end.
As I finally reach the bar, I see Gunther chatting happily with Clay, who slowly drinks his beer. Gunther is bare-chested with flowers painted all over his torso and belly, and his pierced lily-head nipples are right in Clay’s face while he gestures.
“Nicholas! Nicholas!” he says. “The man of the hour!” He throws his arm around me and pulls me close. “Happy thirtieth. I was just chatting up your boyfriend.”
“We’re not boyfriends,” I say at the same time Clay lets out a surprised grunt.
Gunther keeps his arm around my shoulder, and I notice Clay bristle as he looks at it.
“Boyfriends. Lovers. Fuckbuddies. Whatever you kids are calling it these days, you’re very cute together. I thought I noticed a spark when you first walked into the gym.”
Clay looks deeply uncomfortable, so I try to wrap this up. “Just friends,” I say, ignoring the stabbing sensation at my heart when I utter those words.
Gunther notices Clay staring at his arm over my shoulder and retracts it. “Sure, friends!” he says. “And you don’t need to worry, Clay. Nicholas and I already made out years ago. We’re old news.” He chuckles. “I’m no threat!”
Clay waves a hand in the air. “It’s fine,” he grumbles.
When Gunther departs, I give Clay a sympathetic smile. “Sorry about that.”
“You’re lucky. You missed the joke about birthday suits and power tools. That was the worst part.”
I slide onto the stool beside him. “Thanks for sticking around.”
His energy is prickly, not open and relaxed the way I’ve gotten used to him being when we’re alone together. It feels more like when he was first stomping around the flower shop. His walls are back up because of the large social gathering and my blunder communicating the dress code.
Clay turns to me, his elbow up on the bar. “You getting all your birthday wishes?”
Just wishing for you.
“Maybe. They’re secret,” I tell him. “Otherwise they don’t come true.”
