When she nods, I close the door and take a seat across from her.
“I need some help,” I admit.
“With Orlando?” she guesses.
“Not business,” I clarify. “I guess this is personal.”
Mel turns her computer screen to the side, giving me her full attention. “Finally. Go on.”
I rub my hand over my beard, uncertain about what I need to say. But the pain is eating at me, aching more and more since last night. I’m not even sure what mistakes I’m making, which is a good sign I need someone with a clearer head.
“Last night, Orlando told me that he wants to be my boyfriend and go public. Tell people that we’re together.”
Mel gives me a second before asking, “And what did you say?”
I tighten my brow. “I reminded him all the reasons that’s a bad idea. He’s distracting himself from his comeback with this.”
“Let me try that another way.” Mel leans back in her chair. “Do you want to be his boyfriend and have a public relationship, Troy?”
“I don’t want the consequences,” I say.
“That’s not really an answer.”
I grab the arm of the chair, rubbing my thumb into it. “How would we even start trying to explain ourselves?” I ask. “It’s not realistic.”
“Are you asking sincerely? Because I have notes.”
I frown. “Notes on what?”
“Notes on how to frame your situation with Orlando, which have grown into notes on how to handle the PR disaster of you falling in love with Orlando.”
“I’m not… You’ve been taking notes?”
Mel shrugs slightly. “Noting that you didn’t object to the love part,” she murmurs.
“I don’t know about love,” I blurt out as my pulse spikes, but remember we’re in the office, and school my voice down to a near whisper. “How did you get there?” I rub my hand over my beard again, my mind working hard to try to keep up. “And I can’t ask the agency to take on that kind of risk. It’s my responsibility, and I’ll deal with it on my own.”
“The risk we’re taking on is from you two fooling around behind closed doors,” she points out. “It’s better if we’re steering the ship. Neither of you seem to be slowing down. I can see it in your eyes when you’re around him.”
I take a gulp of my coffee.
I’ve been telling myself that we can’t have this. Maybe part of me has been scared to want it. Not just because it’s so different, and not only in fear of the repercussions. I’ve never had something like what this might be, and I think, a long time ago, I decided that I probably never would.
I look at Mel. “You’ve made plans?” I ask.
“Several contingencies, as a matter of fact.”
I nod. “We’ve got a busy day, but maybe it’s time to consider them.”
“Excellent.” Mel smiles. “I’ll be glad to clear the space on my desktop. By the way, he’s a good guy. I like him.”
I huff and wave my hand at her, embarrassed by the emotion and still adjusting to the fact that I’m considering this. That I could actually be in a relationship with Orlando. “Yeah, yeah.”
“Let’s see,” Mel says, turning back to her computer. “Orlando is ready to make the whole thing public and come out. That means, before we even consider a display of public affection for you, you’ve got another important job today. You need to contact some of our key clients and business associates.”
My face falls. “Shit.”
She’s right. I need to let the right people know that I’m seeing a client, and that it’s going to become public. I don’t have to share that the person is Orlando, not yet.
