Behind the glass, I can’t see his face. There’s just me and the music, exposed. My fingers fly and my voice hums as I try to offer up the best of my new sound, and when I reach the last notes, sweat drips down my chest.
Silence stretches on. I’m waiting for Fox to say something over the buzzer, but instead, he sits there for a good minute before finally standing and walking into the studio with me.
Shit. He doesn’t like it.
I lower the guitar as he looks at me, not frowning but not exactly smiling, either. “Some good melodies,” he finally says. “Strong lyrics. Great hooks. And your voice is maturing. That’s good.”
His tone doesn’t make it sound good, though.
“Yeah,” I say cautiously. “Thanks.”
Fox grabs my shoulder, locking my gaze in meaningful eye contact. “Gabriel, it’s not there yet.”
A punch in the fucking gut. It takes the air out of my lungs, but I don’t let it show. I’m a professional.
“Okay,” I manage. “Thanks for being honest with me. And you’re right. It needs more time.”
He lets go of my shoulder and rocks back on his heels. “It’s not bad,” he says. “But it’s not where it needs to be. It feels like you’re still holding something back. Like the music is right on the edge of flying, but your feet are stuck to the ground.”
My head swims. “Oh.”
“It’s okay,” Fox says, although I can see he’s frustrated. “You can’t rush magic, right? And we were prepared for this. We haven’t made your release date official, and it’s no problem for us to push it back.”
My heart sinks. He was prepared for me to fail, and now he’s pushing the album back?
“Fox. I know I seem pretty far from completing a full album, but I swear, it’s coming together.”
“I’m sure it is,” he says quickly. “Just not on the label’s timeline. And that’s okay. There are clauses in the contract for this.”
There are also clauses in the contract that say I can only miss so many deadlines before they cancel the album altogether.
I must be doing a shitty job hiding my horror and disappointment because Fox eases into a consoling smile.
“Gabriel. The album you release is going to be iconic, okay? It will redefine your career and establish you as a major artist. If I put out anything short of that, I’ve failed you. Understood?”
I swallow, both encouraged and daunted. “Okay.”
Fox nods. “There’s an emo revival concert tonight. I’m headed there to meet some of the guys now. Why don’t you join us for a drink?”
He’s being kind, showing me that I’m not fired from the label, so I pretty much have to swallow my pride and say yes. That and Spencer’s encouragement from earlier are enough for me to summon a smile again.
“Emo revival? Sure. Didn’t even know that was happening.”
On the car ride there, Fox and I talk about some new albums we’ve both liked. He has to take a phone call, though, which gives me time to text Spencer. I pull out my phone and see a message waiting.
Spencer: Proud of you! Can’t wait to hear what Fox said! I’m crashing early tonight, but I’ll talk to you tomorrow
His message is only from half an hour ago, so I send a quick reply in case he’s still up.
Me: It was mixed. He thinks I need more time
Me: He’s right
Me: Sleep well, Spencer, talk tomorrow
Fuck, I’m so disappointed in myself right now. I want to record the album Fox described, the one that redefines me as an artist. He’s right. If I’m not achieving that, what am I even doing here?
When I don’t hear anything back from Spencer, I gather my pride back together and return to conversation with Fox.
