“I watched your videos. They’re good. I don’t think you should assume they’ll flop.”
“Ha!” Cubby says loudly, then throws his hand over his mouth. “I mean, ha!” he whispers. “Thank you for the compliment, but there’s not even ass in this one. I’m expecting a drop in viewership, not a rise.” He tilts his head to the side. “You liked them, though?”
“Yeah, of course.” I push the boat out, and we drift across the water. When Cubby leans back on his seat, facing me with an expectant smile, I realize he’s looking for more. “Never seen videos like that.”
He laughs. “Oh God. Even the mountain man I’m seducing struggles to feign enthusiasm.”
“That’s not true,” I correct quickly. I grab the oars, rowing as I try to find my words. “It really was something, Cubby. Funny and moving and…hot.” I swallow, embarrassed as I think about jerking off to his ass. “It was you,” I finally say. “And I really like that.”
“Aww,” he coos. “That’s sweet, Chase. And sorry if I’m pressing too hard for compliments. It’s just, you know, no one else is giving them to me.”
I grunt. “Well, they’re wrong. And I’m learning plenty about…” I search for the words again. “Sex and stuff from you.”
“Thanks, Chase.” Cubby smiles. The sun is rising higher, illuminating his soft features.
I row us along the lake, not far from the shore. The morning is peaceful, and I know I should just change the topic and teach him how to fish. It’s something he’s asked me about, and I really do want to help him with his career, despite all the conflicting feelings it summons in me.
But there’s another question bothering me, the one I haven’t been able to ignore. “If you don’t mind me asking, why didn’t you tell me all that?”
“About the sex talk in my videos? It’s like I said—I didn’t want to scare you away.”
“No. I mean everything you talked about in them. The hard times you’ve had.”
“Oh.” Cubby scrunches his face up, considering my question as waves lap at the side of the canoe. “Well, I did tell you. Didn’t I?”
The boat drifts. “In a way, I guess. You said you were learning stuff you hadn’t had a chance to learn before, and you made some jokes about people being small-minded. But I didn’t know it had been so hard on you.”
“My life isn’t that hard,” he objects. “Just because some of my teachers were bullies and my dad refused to teach me how to change the oil on my car—”
“Your dad refused to teach you to change your oil?”
Cubby scratches the back of his head. “He said I wouldn’t get it, but whatever. He didn’t, like, send me to conversion-therapy torture psychologists or anything awful like that.”
I growl under my breath, angry with his father. “If you asked, he should have taught you.”
“Honestly, my family is out of my life now. I told you what kind of people they are. I’ve moved on. Hell, I even changed my name so I wouldn’t have his first name anymore. It’s over and done with, okay?”
There’s an edge to Cubby’s voice, an irritation he rarely shows. I should probably just let it go, but something in me needs him to know that he deserves better than this.
“You should have a family that supports you. Everyone deserves that, and I’m sorry that you don’t, Cubby.”
His expression softens. “Well, thank you, but the world isn’t always so simple.” He waves a hand toward the mountains. “It’s not all idyllic and easy like it is here.”
I frown. “Who said it’s always easy here?”
Cubby points at me. “It’s not like you’re sharing all your hardships with me either, Mr. Easygoing.”
“I’m not allowed to,” I point out, frustrated. “We’re having a casual relationship, remember?”
“That doesn’t mean you have to hide things from me.”
“You’re the one hiding things from me!”
Cubby throws his hands in the air. “Why are we arguing?” he spits out, then covers his mouth. “Sorry, fishes,” he whispers to the water.
The sincerity in his voice and the cute purse to his lips when he says it catches me off guard, and I laugh despite feeling frustrated and kind of angry, which makes Cubby laugh too.
“Sorry, Cubby. I wasn’t trying to argue.”
