The question hangs there, tripping me up. I’m not lonely at all. My little brother moved away for college, but outside of that, I’ve got everyone I care about right here in Lake Steamy with me.
Although it has been ages since another person shared my bed. Sure, my shepherd mutt Max climbs in some winter nights, but the bed’s still felt cold for years. That’s just the way it’s going to be for a while. I came to accept it a long time ago.
“I’m sure everyone gets lonely sometimes,” I answer, trying to be honest with him but not knowing how to say the truth.
Cubby smiles. “Tell me what you like about living in your cabin. I’m curious.”
I settle back. “Well, I like listening to the woods. Rain and wind. Owls and coyotes at night. And I like doing things with my hands. There’s plenty to keep me busy at home, always something to tend to.”
I give Cubby a glance. It’s hard to imagine he cares so much about this, but he gives me an eager smile and a nod, encouraging me.
“I like waking up early. I make a big breakfast and drink coffee out on the back porch while my dog, Max, plays in the yard. And there’s a spot where the creek gets deep enough that I can splash around, cool off in the summer.” I take a sip of the cocktail he made me. “I love knowing it’s my place, that I’ll spend my life there, sharing it with family and friends. That feels good.”
Flames erupt around the logs. I’d gotten so lost in my thoughts, I didn’t even notice Cubby start the fire. The lights flicker across his features, chasing away the darkness, and I’m hit all over again by how handsome he is.
“That sounds beautiful,” he says. “I totally understand why you’d want that.”
“Aw,” I say, shy, and rub the back of my head. “I don’t know about beautiful.”
“It is,” Cubby says. “Trust me.”
I decide to take the compliment or whatever it is. “You want to learn to chop wood, and you think a quiet life in the mountains sounds beautiful, but you’re planning to buy a condo in the city one day?”
“There’s just things I need to be in the city for.”
“Like work?”
“It helps with that. Networking matters, and I’ll need to make collaborative content with other people. But there’s other stuff too.”
I arch an eyebrow at him.
“You know,” Cubby answers, then pushes himself up to standing. “I like high fashion. And spotting famous people and going to concerts and riding the subway.” He reaches down and tugs his bear socks back up. “And casual sex too. You really need to be in a city to have a lot of casual gay sex.”
My jaw tightens. It’s not that I feel possessive. He’s already made it clear what his dating life is like, and I’m not going to judge him for that. Wouldn’t be my place, even if I wanted to.
But it does remind me how adamant Cubby is that he’s not looking for something serious. Sully can encourage me all he wants, saying I should try something casual. I might be on the edge of doing that right now, but even if I do, I am who I am, and the part of me that wants Cubby wants him for a hell of a lot more than just casual sex.
I wipe my hand across my beard. “My friend Sully lives here. He hooks up with guys every now and then. And my uncle’s art gallery is right across from the store.” I shrug. “Just saying. The town’s not as dead as you think.”
“I didn’t think it was.” He tilts his head to the side. “It’s just too bad there’s not a lot of people for you to date.”
I swallow. “Not usually.”
I’m struggling to use my words, but the intent behind what we’re saying is thick in the air.
Not usually, but maybe now.
Cubby steps over to me, the flames growing beside him. He’s biting down on his lip, and I know he’s about to kick the flirting up another level. I know he’s going to say something that spins me in a circle, and I’m going to smile like I just chugged a bottle of whiskey.
First, though, he takes my hand. He closes his fingers around mine, then lifts my hand. “Is this okay?”
I swallow. “Yeah.”
Cubby takes in a deep breath. “I know you’re straight, and I know this is probably silly of me to say.” He shakes his head quickly. “I’m not apologizing,” he corrects himself. “All I want to say is I think you’re really sexy—”
“Thank you.”
I snap my mouth shut. The words came out automatically, but I didn’t intend to interrupt him.
