“How about you?” I ask.
His expression changes, a half-smile turning up his mouth. “Me? I’ve always known what I want, yeah. Guess I’m lucky that way.”
“And what is it that Chase is chasing?”
“Nothing special. Someone to spend my life with here in town. Share my cabin, raise some kids, watch the sun rise and set over the lake.” He turns and meets my eyes. “How about you?”
Neither of us is pedaling, leaving the boat drifting. We’re far enough away from the fish fry that it feels like we’re in our own little world, a tiny bubble of the universe.
It’s romantic, and not just in my head. Darkness is settling, the last light is sparkling on the water, and the mountains rise up around us, gorgeous and tall.
For the past year, I’ve been satisfying myself purely through anonymous hookups and sex apps. I have no regrets or shame about that, but looking at Chase and the sincerity in his eyes, I know that nothing anonymous is possible right now. Maybe this flirtation will lead to a hookup or two, and that will be great, but before anything happens, I need to be more honest with him.
“At the moment,” I say, tapping my finger on my lips, “I’m looking for hookups without any sort of emotional commitment and maintaining my work-life balance that tilts unhealthily toward work. But long-term, I plan for a dedicated relationship, a condo in a major city, and an exhausting travel schedule.” I shrug. “Maybe kids too.”
Chase chuckles. “All right, then.”
“Like you said”—I drop my voice to a whisper—“I’m a man who knows what he wants.”
I’m joking, but my heart feels like it’s going to burst, wondering what he’ll say in response.
Chase folds his hands behind his head, gazing up at the dark-blue sky, where the growing moon is the only thing out. “I think that’s nice. I don’t know the first thing about an emotional hookup, and living without the mountains sounds like hell to me. But I see the way you put yourself out there. It’s impressive.”
“Oh.” I’m surprised by how sincere his compliment sounds. It’s way more pleasing to receive than I would have expected, considering he doesn’t really know the first thing about me, so it shouldn’t matter whether he approves. “Thank you.”
Chase grunts.
“And by the way, it’s not emotional hookups,” I say with a laugh. “The opposite, actually. Emotional hookups sound like a nightmare.”
“Either way, I don’t know,” he says, looking a little shy.
“Not the hookup type. Duly noted.”
We drift in silence. I’m disappointed, of course, because if Chase doesn’t like casual sex, it doesn’t really matter if he’s straight or bi or even interested in me at all. I’d love the distraction, but work will remain my focus this summer.
Disappointed, but not totally distraught. There’s no reason we can’t still be flirty friends.
I shoot him a playful smile. “If you ever change your mind about casual sex, you know where to find me.”
He turns and looks right at me, an embarrassed smile on his face. “Trust me. I’m way too set in my ways, and casual sex is just not my speed.”
We both start pedaling slowly, angling a circle back toward the crowd, although I wish we could float out here and talk all night.
“The women in this town must find you extremely frustrating.”
“I don’t know about that. I’ve barely dated, to tell you the truth.”
“Then the women in this town definitely find you extremely frustrating.”
“You act like I’m such a catch,” he says, eyes back over the water. “I’m surprised you don’t have a boyfriend waiting for you back in Boston, though.”
“I’m sworn off commitments until I launch my vlog,” I explain. “I dated plenty, but it’s been a few years since I had anything special.”
“Then the guys in Boston must be out of their damn minds too.”
I stop pedaling and lean in to his side of the boat. “Are you calling me hot, Chase?”
Chase turns his body toward mine. I can smell him, like that piney body wash straight guys use, and we’re so close, I can see the tiny creases in the corners of his eyes.
