“You look happy,” Caesar says bluntly.
“I am. I like your friends.”
“Sure.”
We keep walking for a second, the stars out above us. I think Caesar is about to say something else, so I give him a second to work his thoughts out in silence.
Caesar stops and looks me in the eye. “This old group, there’s a reason they’re together tonight.”
“What’s that?”
“Jen’s wife,” Caesar explains. “She passed some years ago. This is her birthday, the way we used to celebrate it when she was around.”
“Oh,” I say quietly, then turn back toward the fire. “I hope I didn’t say anything insensitive. I wish I had—”
“You’re fine,” Caesar grunts. “It’s just a night to get together and have fun. We’ll start telling stories soon enough, I’m sure.”
“Okay,” I say with a nod.
Caesar tightens his brow. “You really get this, kid? You get what I’m trying to show you?”
I’m confused, but the care in Caesar’s expression breaks me open, so I grab his hand and squeeze tight. “Because you’re worried you’re going to die? Caesar, you’re not that old.”
“Everything,” he says. “The complaining. The yelling. The stupid arguing. Laughing and making jokes about stuff you shouldn’t joke about.” He shakes his head. “I’m just another grumpy asshole with sore knees and a bad cussing habit. I need to make sure you really understand that, Drew.”
My heart melts. “You think I don’t know who you are, Caesar?”
He frowns, but I can tell it’s only because he’s trying to hide a smile. “You know a few things about me.”
“Yeah,” I say with a grin, then squeeze his hand back. “I know a lot of things about you, actually.”
“Like what?”
“Like the fact that you’re secretly a little proud to show me off to your friends.”
He huffs, but it just proves I’m right.
I laugh. “And I know that you might get sick, or I might get sick, or a million other things might happen, but that the only truly horrible thing would be if we didn’t spend every minute together that we can while we can.”
Caesar takes my cheek in my hand. “You’re good with words.”
“Glad one of us is.”
He laughs roughly, and I can see in his silver eyes that he’s accepted it. He’s accepted that I really see him and want him, just like I know he’s chosen me.
I hold his eye. “And I know I love you.”
Caesar grunts. “Love you, kid.” He turns his eyes up to the stars, and as I watch, a gentle smile forms on his face. “You know, when I was young and stupid, I thought sometimes that I might love Mack.”
“Oh,” I answer softly. “I knew you cared about each other, but—”
“It wasn’t love,” he says, turning his gaze back to me. “Love doesn’t walk out the door. Love doesn’t abandon you, no matter how hard things get. You taught me that, Drew. You taught me how strong love is. And I want you to know, I’m going to be that strong for you, too.”
There’s more to talk about, plenty to discuss. But under the stars and with the smell of smoke lingering in the air, that can all wait.
I take his hand. “Thanks for bringing me here.”
“You’re mine,” he answers. “We belong together.”
