“That’s cool,” I interrupt, then add some word salad nonsense. “And hey, whatever you want, you know?” I wince and look away from my friend, then gather my wet clothes from the floor. “I hope you and Davis have a great time. Maybe you’ll even end up dating.”
Before Alexander can say anything else, I walk past him, shaking the wet laundry. “I’ll hang these up to dry,” I say over my shoulder. “Want to think about what you want from the Thai place?”
I go into the bathroom and shut the door, then let out a ragged breath. I love Alexander so fucking much. Why didn’t I see this years ago? Why did I ever waste my time fooling around with strangers when the perfect guy was right there with me, every step of the way?
But what if I realized it too late? Or what if I’m reading Alexander wrong and he really doesn’t want to be with me? Paying my bills, reminding me to get to work every morning, cleaning up my messes in the kitchen, that’s not fun. There’s nothing sexy about the way I need him, so why should I think he’d want more with me?
I splash water on my face. We’ll talk Friday. He can have a drink with Davis, and the world won’t end.
But still, my hands are shaky when I clean my glasses.
I might lose Alexander, so I’m going to hold him close tonight.
CHAPTEREIGHTEEN
ALEXANDER
“It’s Rafael, isn’t it?”
Davis sits across from me. We’re at a low-key bar near his robotics lab, both sitting at a high table. I’ve just worked up the courage to break up with him, or at least as close to breaking up as you can get without really dating. It’s probably easy for a lot of people to do this kind of thing, but I hate letting someone down, and I really don’t have a lot of practice.
When he jumps straight to the point, though, all the speeches I’ve been practicing disappear. “You’re in love with Rafael, right?” he repeats. “That’s what I’ve always assumed.”
My dads, now Davis. Was Rafael the only person unaware of my feelings?
“I mean,” I mumble, then sip from my vodka and coke. “It’s complicated.”
Davis’s laugh is warm, not mean. I’m relieved that he doesn’t seem mad, and his eyes drift across the back of the bar while he talks to me. “I’m sure it is,” he says.
I chuckle and shake my head. I’ve barely said anything, but I’ve still shared more about this with Davis in the past few seconds than I have with almost anyone in my life. There’s relief in just laughing about it.
Soon, I’ll tell Alexander that I love him, and the thought of it makes all the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
“Sorry for wasting your time,” I say. “I mean that.”
He shakes his head, not bothered. “Like I said, a part of me expected this. You and Rafael have always been so close, and honestly, you just make sense together.”
“We’re not exactly together,” I say quickly.
“Right. Complicated.”
“Usually, I’d object here that just because Rafael and I are close doesn’t mean there’s anything more going on. But I guess I’ll bite my tongue this time.”
Davis laughs. “Do you remember our senior year of college, there was that big house party in the geek house for everyone graduating?”
“Right before we started dating,” I nod. “I remember.”
“I’ll never forget it. You were obsessed with getting single-use plastic bags banned at the college.”
I scratch the back of my head. “There’s no reason we should have still been using them. Every other college in the area already had a supplier—"
“Right,” he laughs. “I remember. Well, you spent the whole party trying to get people to sign petitions and letters to the college administration. You were obsessed with getting it done before you graduated.”
“And I did!” I said excitedly. “I mean, we did! The whole group.”
“And especially Rafael. He painted that mural on campus. He drew a million flyers. And he spent the whole party running around with you, making the final push.” He shakes his head. “Anyway, that’s when I figured there was probably no getting between you two.”
“But you tried anyway,” I say.
