The one other time Noah had met up with his brother, maybe five years ago, it had been so awkward, he’d left convinced that he never wanted to have another thing to do with him. Since he discovered they’d be living in the same city, though, I’d hoped this time could be different.
And I still hoped that. Although the confusing possibility that Alastair was Jet made it much more complicated.
“I invited him to the barbecue. The hosts won’t mind, right?”
I blinked, then rubbed my hand over my beard. “No, I’m sure everyone will be happy to have him.” My brother’s social group had been warm and welcoming, and Russell had encouraged me to bring a friend before.
“I thought it would be less stressful than another sit-down with just the two of us.” He sighed again, then shook his head. “I don’t know, Peyton. I just want my brother to be a decent human, you know? But in reality, I have no idea who he actually is.”
“I think it was a good idea to invite him to the barbecue,” I said carefully, trying hard to focus on my friend’s problem and not the reality that Jet might appear smack in the middle of my life that weekend. “And hey, just let me know if you need anything, okay? You know I’m here.”
Noah smiled softly. “Yeah, thanks, Peyton. I appreciate it.”
* * *
When I got home, I folded my glasses and placed them on the coffee table, then put on a kettle for tea. I’d start on the designs for a new residential project in the morning, and we had interviews for the head of our interior design team in the afternoon, but for the rest of the night, I hoped to just clear my head.
I’d spent a week carefully unpacking and decorating, so the place was already beginning to feel like home. My own style wasn’t very flashy, more like rustic contemporary, and I’d picked the place because of its big stone fireplace. My coffee table was a thick piece of reclaimed wood, and there were plaid throw pillows tossed on the worn leather couch. As I settled in with my mug, I turned on a basketball game, then muted it when my phone rang.
“Russell. Hey. How’s it going?”
Moving to Pittsburgh became a lot more appealing when I learned that my little brother and my high school best friends were in love. I hadn’t been familiar with triad relationships, but when they broke the news to me, I pushed through the shock and managed to just celebrate their good news.
With how many gay people I had in my life, I was used to how it went. Whenever someone came out to me, I made sure to be supportive because I wasn’t an asshole. Then I processed my own emotions in private. It only took a little while to work through the jealousy and fresh waves of confusion it tended to bring, and it helped that time that I was genuinely glad that Russell, Casey, and Blake had found what made them happy.
It should have made it easy to talk with one of them about my own sexuality, but sitting there and thinking about Jet again, I had no idea where to start.
Russell flipped on his video, and I turned the phone to look at him. “I’m good!” he said brightly, his long eyelashes fluttering. My younger brother had gotten all the charm that skipped me and blossomed even more when he fell in love with Casey and Blake. Just seeing his warm smile helped ease my worries. “Quick question for you. Are you settled in yet?”
I glanced around the condo. “Nope, still settling.”
That was a fib. But I’d made the mistake of agreeing to let him, Blake, and Casey set me up with someone once I landed from the move, which I knew was behind his question. I acquiesced to the plan in a moment of weakness, when I was still reeling from Camille calling me boring.
I just hadn’t expected the enthusiasm they’d all have for the project.
“Damn,” Russell pouted. “There’s a new woman at Blake’s work we thought you might connect with.” He shrugged. “Oh well. We won’t invite her to the barbecue.”
I snorted. “Thanks, I guess.”
“Sure! How about you, Peyton? Another busy day?”
“Yeah, we’ve got some good projects coming in.” I paused for a second, considering, then asked the real question I’d been wondering about. “Hey, can you explain something to me? Bears and cubs…”
Russell pursed his lips, which were painted a soft pink. “What kind of bears and cubs?”
I laughed. “The gay kind? I heard someone mention it at work,” I added, fumbling for an excuse. “I’m trying to figure out what it means.”
“Well, a cub is a younger bear, I guess obviously. But you know what that means, Peyton. Tell me you’re notthatclueless.”
I grunted. “I’m not clueless. Bears are bigger guys, hairy and kind of macho.”
Russell nodded his head from side to side. “Kind of. They’re not always macho, but yeah, flannel and beer are definite mainstays.”
“Is it a good thing? Like, do other gay men like that?”
Russell laughed warmly. “Well, there’s no one thing that all gay men like. But yes, generally speaking, a lot of guys think that bears are hot.”
“Hey!” Blake stepped behind my brother, draping his arms over Russell’s shoulders. “What’s up, Peyton?” He was growing out his beard, which framed his boxy jaw.
