I freeze. “What?”
Joey grits his teeth, like it pains him to talk. “Two men, from the docks.” He sits down on the couch, like he’s too exhausted to stand. “They tracked me down here in Chicago.”
I sit beside him, kind of stunned. “What did they want?”
Joey frowns, then rubs his forehead. “They want me to run a job here, connect the family business and help the men my dad works with expand. But that’s not half the problem.”
My mouth feels dry. The reality that Joey would know how to do something like that hits me, and I realize I have been playing down what he told me. Joey comes from a world that’s more dangerous than I can understand, and he’s entangled in it. I just didn’t want to accept that because if there’s truth to what he’s telling me…
Damn it. I’m really, really worried for him.
“What’s the bigger problem?”
“I could do a job or just pay my father off when he came knocking. It would wipe out my savings, but that would be worth it.” He looks over and holds my eye, then lays his hand on top of mine. “But one of the men who came here, Adrian. He’s trouble.”
Joey takes my hand and stares me straight in the eye. His gaze bores into me, and I feel raw and exposed, like when I’m held under his hand and receiving a tattoo. “Milo, I’ll tell you the truth, but you have to understand. This information could get you hurt. Being with me, it could get you hurt. So you need to bury this away, forget all about—”
He cuts himself off. He was about to tell me to forget about him, and that stings.
“Just tell me,” I say. “I want to know.”
“Adrian works for the crime syndicate. They’re powerful. I don’t know how else to say it. My family is just a cog in their operation. But someone up top got the idea that my dad might be ripping them off, skimming, so they sent Adrian in to take a look.”
Joey takes a swig of his beer, then another. He’s gone from holding my eye to looking in the distance behind me, a wince on his face. It looks like shame or regret, I’m not sure.
“He figured out that I’m gay right away, and in that world, being queer is a vulnerability. After he came onto me, we started hooking up in secret, and slowly, he started making me promises. Talking about another life we could build together, somewhere away from the docks. I fell for it, too, and for a good year, I ate those lies up.”
Joey shakes his head. He’s mad at himself, and I squeeze his hand and rub my thumbs across the back of it. I hate that someone took advantage of him and his dreams like that. It really pisses me off.
“The whole time, Adrian was using my computer to pass information on my dad back to his bosses. I figured it out after one of the ship captains my family uses got nabbed by the syndicate for stealing from them. It caused a hell storm at the docks, and right in the middle of it all, I stumbled on Adrian using my laptop when I was supposed to be sleeping one night.”
I blink, trying to figure out what to say. “That’s awful.”
Joey chuckles under his breath. “Adrian hated me the whole time, turns out. He was just using me, same as my dad uses me.”
I pull him close for a hug. Joey loosens, but not totally, so I rub his back, hoping it helps show I care even though I’m at a loss for words.
“Doesn’t matter,” he says roughly and pulls back enough to look at me. “The point is, I broke it off with Adrian, but that didn’t solve anything. He’s still there, working the docks and keeping an eye on my family. For all I know, my dad might be in the middle of ripping off the syndicate. But when I tried to warn him…”
“What happened?” I ask, gently.
“He only got as far as hearing that I had sex with a man before he threw me against the wall and threatened to kick my ass if I didn’t quit it now and save his family the humiliation.”
I frown, my heart aching for him. “Fuck him.”
“Fuck him,” Joey agrees. “But it gave me the out I needed to finally leave. When he caught me with another man a couple weeks later, he exploded again, and I finally did.” Joey shakes his head. “The point is, though, it was Adrian who came to my door. He’s still working at the docks, and that means there’s a ticking time bomb. Adrian doesn’t care about a damn thing except for impressing his bosses with my dad’s head, and Dad doesn’t tolerate rats. With the mistakes I made, with my role in this…” Joey tenses and looks me in the eye. “They’re always going to come back, Milo. They’re always going to come for me, and one day, it’s going to blow up in my face.”
It’s the sad resignation in his voice to undoes me. Joey is always so certain. His determination was one of the first things I noticed about him, but right now, it’s like he’s giving up on himself. Like he’s beaten.
“Joey,” I say. “There has to be a way for you to get away from that. I can help you figure it out.”
He shakes his head. “I would never ask you to take on a risk like this, Milo. It’s just not right. I’d never forgive myself.”
I grab his hand and stand. I’m emotionally exhausted. I’ve been battered with my feelings since Joey walked in the door, but I’m not going to give up. “Come here,” I say, pulling him toward the door that leads down to my bedroom. “Just come here.”
We stumble down the stairs, and I rush to my bed, then thrust the rose to Joey. I push it against his chest, urging him. “Do you see?” I feel desperate, like my senses have snapped, but I need him to understand how I feel. “I got you this rose, like the one on your neck. I got you a flower with thorns because even if that’s who you are, thorny, I know you’re beautiful and sweet, too, and I want you. I want you just like you are, Joey.”
His hand closes over the rose. “Milo…”
