Luckily, though, before I get depressed about the sorry fucking state of my family, the door to the shop swings open, and Stone steps in. He nods his head up as he unzips his jacket, then kicks snow off his boots. “What’s up, Joey?”
“Not much.” I glance at the schedule. “You got an appointment coming in?”
I usually pay special attention to Stone’s schedule. He has a talent for big, detailed pieces that would intimidate most artists, and whenever there’s one underway, I like to watch it come along.
“Just grabbing a couple things from the back,” he says, then pushes his shaggy brown hair back. “You chilling?”
“Hrm,” I grunt, which I guess is meant to sayyeah. Stone nods and walks into the back where the rooms are, and I sit there, trying to think up a way to talk to him and ask after Milo. I don’t know if Milo would have told Stone’s boyfriend we hooked up or not, and I don’t want to shoot my mouth off about something when I should just stay quiet.
That’s a conversation that bears too close to my personal life, anyway, and I know better than to gossip at work.
“Hey,” Stone says. He steps out of the back with a few sketchpads and printouts under his arm and a couple of beers in one hand. “You want a drink?”
I glance at the bottles. “They’re already open.”
Stone shrugs as he hands one to me. “Looks like it.”
I chuckle under my breath, realizing that he hasn’t really given me a way to say no. “Thanks,” I say reluctantly, then hit the bottom of my bottle against his.
Stone leans back against the counter that runs along the wall. “I didn’t know a damn person in Chicago when I moved here last year,” he says evenly. “It takes a while to get used to the city.”
I stand and lean against the desk. Stone is taller than me, not quite lanky but slim, although I can see the muscles on his frame, too, and I have no doubt he’s stronger than he looks.
Aware that I’m sizing him up like a new worker at the docks, I take another drink from my beer. “Yeah, I’m finding my way around.”
“You have any family in Chicago?”
I turn my eyes to the beer bottle. I feel evasive, but I still want to talk to him, more than usual at least. “Nothing like that,” I say, then force a smile as I turn back to Stone. “Blade’s worth moving for, right? A shop with a reputation like this, I mean.”
Stone smiles, but I can tell he can tell I’m uncomfortable. Most people wouldn’t be able to read me that closely, but somehow, I just know he can.
“It’s a great fucking shop,” he tells me. “Made my landing nice and easy. And my boyfriend, Matty, he’s been showing me around the city.” Stone clears his throat. “Dating anyone?” he asks.
“Nah,” I answer evenly, but my heart is beating faster, and I can’t bring myself to look in Stone’s eyes.
I can’t figure out why he’s asking me these pointed questions all of a sudden, until it hits me. He probably already knows that I hooked up with Milo, and he’s being a good boyfriend and trying to figure me out. He’s checking in on me, trying to decide if I’m good enough for the guy.
I hesitate a moment, then force my eyes back to his. “I don’t really date, outside of a hookup every now and then. Staying single.”
The words sting on my lips. I want to tell him that I’m single and interested in his friend, actually. But I only need to think back to the conversation with my sister to remember why that’s such a bad idea. Milo doesn’t need to get wrapped up in my bullshit, no fucking way.
And if I need Stone to help me tell Milo the truth I can’t bear to tell him myself, that I’m not worth wasting his time on, that’s just more proof I’m not good enough for the guy in the first place.
“That’s cool,” Stone says. “I respect that.”
“Staying single?”
He shrugs. “Knowing yourself. Knowing what you want. It takes a lot of integrity.”
I nod. “Yeah, I guess so.”
Stone gestures to the sketch that sits on the desk beside me. “Is that the new work for your Thursday client? It’s been looking real nice.”
With a sigh of relief, I turn to showing Stone my sketch. It’s good to relate as artists. It’s something I really care about, but it’s safe territory, too. Not loaded like everything we were just talking about.
But the whole time, in the back of my mind, I’m still thinking about Milo. Stone’s right that I know myself, and I know exactly what I want.
The problem is, I can’t let myself have him.
