“Yeah,” I say with a quick nod. “Of course. No problem. It’s right on the way.”
Ayla leans close to me. “He’s just anxious about seeing his new crush.”
This time, I roll my eyes. “Can we please bury that? Remember, I’m trying to kick the habit of crushing on unavailable men.”
Matty kicks some snow with his boot. “Joey does seem pretty distant, doesn’t he? But that doesn’t mean he’s totally unavailable.”
“Come on,” I scoff. I’ve already had this conversation a couple of times with Ayla, since we live together, but this afternoon hang is the first serious time I’ve spent with Matty in a week. “You might have found your forever love in a tattoo shop, but that doesn’t mean I will. Joey is probably straight, and besides, there’s no way I’m his type.” I bite down on my lip and look between my two best friends. “But he is hot. He’s super fucking hot.”
“I just don’t get it,” Ayla shrugs. “You told me that he sat there and barely said a word. How is that hot?”
“It was his eyes,” I explain. “He just kept looking at me. It was like, even though he wasn’t talking, I could feel his eyes all over me. And then I kept talking, and you know how I babble, but he didn’t seem to mind.” I sigh and take a sip of my coffee. “Is it possible to find listening sexy? Is that weird?”
Ayla points her paper cup at me. “Now that I understand. Listening is very sexy.”
“And getting tattooed,” Matty says. “Or at least I think that’s sexy. I’ve only been tattooed by the sexiest guy I know, so it’s hard to say for sure. But wait, back it up. If you like him, why not ask him out after the tattoo is finished?”
“Yeah, it’s supposed to be your empowerment tattoo,” Ayla agrees. “That would be a great way to celebrate.”
I laugh. “It’s only my empowerment tattoo because you both forced me to say it was. And anyway, seriously? I’m…” I gesture at myself, then sigh. “And he’s like this mysterious, smoldering man, with the most fascinating eyes I’ve ever seen, and magic hands.”
“I repeat,” Matty says, “so what? You’re just as hot and interesting.”
“More, probably,” Ayla says, and we all three start walking slowly back toward Matty’s car.
“You’re being sweet, but I actually know for a fact that I’m not hot like he is because the thing that’s supposed to make people hot is confidence, and meanwhile, I felt shy the entire time he was looking at my bare chest.”
“Aw,” Ayla says with a frown, then rubs her hand between my shoulders. “You don’t have to be shy. You have a nice chest!”
“That’s not the point,” I tell them, jumping a little as we walk. “You both forget because you have partners, but a lot of people don’t want to date a geek. Like, Joey has this scar that runs through his eyebrow. It looks sexy and tough, and meanwhile, last week, I yelled so loud when there was a spider on my cereal spoon that I woke Ayla up.”
“Well who wouldn’t yell?” Matty asks, exasperated. “Early in the morning like that and in your cereal? I don’t blame you.”
I laugh. “Thank you, but I’m just saying. Could you imagine how humiliating it would be to see a spider in front of Joey and then scream like a scared child?”
“I put the spiders outside for Horatio,” Ayla says, “and it’s not like I think he’s less hot because of it.”
I appreciate their encouragement, but it feels like they’re missing the point. “My dad used to try to train me so I didn’ttalk like a girl,” I say, making air quotes with my free hand. “Meanwhile, Joey looks like his dad ran a werewolf motorcycle gang.”
Ayla links her arm in mine, hooking me by the elbow, and when Matty sees, he does the same from the other side. “Okay,” Ayla sighs, “so you’re not going to ask him out.”
“No more unavailable men,” I say, shaking my head. “If I’m ever going to get over my insecurity, I need to date men who are emotionally present and who actually, truly like me, just the way I am. It’s you two who convinced me of that in the first place. Crushing on my hot tattoo artist is not going to help.”
Matty opens his mouth, probably to point out that his hot tattoo artist likes his geeky butt just the way he is, but Ayla shoots him a look first.
“Okay,” Matty groans. “I won’t push. Stone says Joey is kind of a loner, anyway.”
I laugh to myself. It’s just like Matty to encourage me to date a guy who he knows to be a loner. I try to always be optimistic as a matter of policy, but he’s next level. Matty gets big ideas in his head, big dreams that seem ridiculously impossible to most people. His imagination is actually my favorite thing about him, but it also means he loves to get caught up in a fantasy.
And me actually feeling confident enough to ask Joey out, that’s definitely a fantasy.
By the time we get to the car, we’ve thankfully moved on, and Ayla tells us about the new dresses she’s making for her online shop. I love her style, and I get lost enough in the conversation that I forget the stop Matty suggested, only remembering it after we’ve dropped Ayla off and he pulls up to Blade.
“Wait,” Matty says as he leans forward, pointing across the dash. “Is that Joey? I haven’t actually met him yet.”
I turn, and my breath catches. It is Joey, standing right outside the shop and looking down at his phone. He’s in a pair of tight, worn jeans, and his black leather jacket doesn’t look warm enough for the weather, but he’s not shivering or anything. He’s just standing there, strong and solid.
Looking at him again, I’m not thinking about how intimidating he is, but how sweet. Joey touched me so lightly, posing me and guiding me, and I know it must have been the endorphins or whatever, but I really felt warmth coming from him. He didn’t say much, but he did ask me a question every now and then and encourage me to keep talking. And his smile was slight, but it was enough to comfort me through the pain.
