At least Casey had come out as bi since then. It made me feel a little less like a pathetic kid, salivating over my pathetic kid crushes.
It was always the two of them I was thinking about. Almost never just Blake or just Casey.
Turns out, a bored and horny teenager can think up a lot of things for a few guys to do together.
But that was all a long time ago. Now, I was focused on gathering the courage to wear a little makeup and maybe a heel every now and then. It’s something I’d wanted to do for years and my driving motivation behind moving to a new city.
And with my older brother’s hot best friends watching my every move, I knew I’d chicken out. “I’m sure I’ll figure it out on my own,” I told Peyton.
My brother and I caught up a little more, and when a cloud drifted over the sun, I let him go and hurried into the woodworking studio. There wasn’t any real reason I needed a class in cabinetry. It wasn’t like I was planning on restoring antiques or building myself a custom hutch. But growing up around my dad’s hardware store, I’d always found woodworking really soothing and especially enjoyed picking up new skills. When I saw a discounted class available, I jumped at the chance, figuring at least something in my new life should be familiar.
For a couple of hours, I pushed all of the other worries away and drifted into the pleasant calm of the lesson. The instructor was an older man with a deep, drawling voice, and he talked through the finer points of dovetail joinery in a monotone. It was hardly good teaching, and he acted annoyed and gruff whenever anyone asked a question, but I didn’t let it bother me.
Instead, I just focused on the work, measuring and cutting with the smell of sawdust in the air. It put me right in my happy place, and for a couple hours, all that mattered was whether I had cut my angles right.
When it was over, I washed up and headed back out, rushing to get to work on time. Sitting in the back of the city bus, I pulled up my email, then groaned and shoved my phone back in my pocket. There was a reminder of my scheduled student loan payment, and the bill for last month’s cell phone usage.
I stared out the window, watching the rolling hills of Pittsburgh pass by. I needed help or else I was going to end up on my ass, but my college friends were scattered across the country, and my family was mostly back in West Creek. There was nothing but a whole city full of strangers out there, and sitting in the back of the bus, I suddenly felt incredibly alone.
Except the city wasn’t totally full of strangers. I knew Blake and Casey, almost as well as I knew my own brothers, in fact. Sure, they were kind of blockheads sometimes, the way a lot of guys were. But I knew they had good hearts, too. And Casey had even lived with our family for a while, when he was having his own troubles in high school.
A soft rain started falling on the windows of the bus, reminding me how appealing a steady place to live actually was.
With a sigh, I pulled up a text message to Peyton. Living with his best friends would feel super awkward, and it would mean I had to put off the makeover I was desperate to give myself. But at least I’d have a warm bed this winter.
Hey. Actually, do you think you could get me in touch with the guys?
