I puffed a breath out, and the conversation quickly moved on as we tried to catch up on fifteen years.
It made me happy that Izzy had turned out to be exactly the kind of person I would have imagined. He was gentle and attentive, like he had been when we were growing up, and it impressed me that he hadn’t let go of his sweeter qualities like a lot of guys do over time. I remembered the way he talked about the plants and animals in the woods outside of town like they were his friends, and it gave me a pleasant satisfaction that he was working in conservation now, spending his days making sure the wildlife he loved had a future.
His heart was in the exact right place, and that endeared him to me even more than watching his cute Adam’s apple bob up and down did.
Soon enough, the night was over, and we were all making promises to see each other again soon. After Izzy stepped back into his shoes, I opened my arms and offered him a hug, which he quickly stepped into.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. My instincts said to pull him in close and to feel his body pressed to mine. They urged me to tangle my fingers in the curls of his hair and to take in a deep inhale of his scent, like vanilla on a spring breeze.
I felt the desire on my skin. It was raw and fresh, the type of need I couldn’t easily satisfy.
There were just some things you couldn’t get through a laptop screen, it turned out.
“Bye, Kai,” Izzy said softly, stepping out of my embrace. “It was good to see you again.”
“Yeah,” I agreed with a smile. “See you soon.”
Chapter Five
Izzy
Skeleton tonight.Nice. Haven’t seen that one in a while.
I sat on my bed, my legs crossed beneath me, and leaned back on the palms of my hands. I’d left the skeleton bodysuit unzipped just enough that my nipples peeked out, and the facemask that came with it covered everything down to my neck.
I pulled out my phone, messaging him through the app so I could leave my laptop in position.I guess I was in a mood.
Everything ok?
Yeah, it’s fine. Good. Just—I sat there for a minute, trying to figure out how to explain it.
In a mood.
Mysterious skeleton.
I laughed and tossed my head back. Behind me, I’d hung framed photos from some of my favorite hiking trips, and a shelf displayed some botany books and my reading glasses. It was a little more of my life than I usually let OK see, but like I told him, I was in a funny mood.
Anything new this week?I typed.
Not really. Work and more work. How about you?
Not much. Had drinks with an old friend.
How was that?
Fine. Nice.I laughed and added a few emojis, one with the eyes rolling around and the upside-down smiley.I had a good time. Just a little insecure. My friend is doing so much better than me.
How’s that?
I scrunched up my mouth beneath the breathing vent in the mask, deciding how honest I wanted to be right before we got horny together. OK was an escape from my problems, but he was also weirdly a safe person to share them with.
Nicer job. Serious partner. Fancy apartment.
You help run a nonprofit. And you have your own place.A moment passed; then his name flashed again.Plus, you have one very devoted internet fan. That has to count for something.
I’d kind of let the guy believe I was more important at the conservation project than I actually was. He’d misinterpreted something I said, and I didn’t realize it until later, and then I just kind of let it go. When it came up, it made me feel awkward, but I also kind of liked it.
I figured if that was the only lie I told a stranger on the internet, I probably didn’t have to guilt myself too much about it.
