“Izzy?Oh my god, is that you?”
I stopped dead in my tracks. It was only seven-thirty in the morning, and I had just barely gotten started on the coffee, but I was pretty sure that River was standing on the sidewalk in front of me.
“River?”
He grinned, that easy, beautiful smile filling his face. I’d seen it a million times in the four years I lived next door to him and his family growing up, and the smile had barely changed since.
In so many other ways, though, he looked totally different. He’d grown his hair long, all the way to his shoulders, and his face had broadened, even as he kept his soft, warm features. He was wearing an old T-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts, which was much more jock than the countless bracelets and emo-influenced style he loved in middle school.
But there was no denying it or confusing him for his twin brother. Beautiful, sweet, flirty River was standing right in front of me, beaming that smile that made me crush on him painfully all of junior high.
“It is you!” he yelled, then threw his arms around me for a gigantic hug. I laughed and kind of stood there awkwardly, my arms dangling at my side. “What are you doing here?”
As he stepped back, I shrugged my backpack on my shoulder. “I’m just on my way to work. I moved into this building last week,” I added with a nod backward.
River’s eyes got wide. “Seriously?” He turned and pointed at the big brick building straight across the street. “I live there! This is just like when we were growing up!”
I laughed, relaxed a little by his enthusiasm. It was part of what made me like him so much in the first place. When I slipped into my awkward silence, River’s enthusiasm always pulled me right back out.
“That’s amazing,” I said. “But I thought you moved to Europe?”
“I did. It’s kind of a long story. But now I live across the street, with my fiancé, Leo.”
I took a sip of my coffee, just to cover any expression I might inadvertently make.
At least he dropped that bombshell quickly. No time for me to revive my crush on him or get confused about my feelings.
“Oh my god!” River yelped as he jumped onto the balls of his feet, excited. “You have to come to my wedding! It’s in a few weeks, and it’s a double wedding with Leo’s brother and his guy.”
I stared at him for a second, surprised by the invitation, then pushed out an answer. “That’s really nice. Isn’t it last minute to add someone, though?”
“It’s not a wedding like that. We’re doing this whole mountain cabin thing, the more the merrier. Do you have your phone with you?”
I grabbed it from my pocket. “Yeah.”
“Great, take my number,” he said, then hurriedly gave it to me as I stood there in a daze. “We’ll have you over for drinks and give you a proper wedding invitation. Kai lives right upstairs from us, too. I know he’ll love to see you.” River blinked a few times, his long eyelashes fluttering, then pulled me into another hug. “Izzy, I can’t believe it! I want to know everything that’s happened to you. Literally all of it.”
I laughed and waved my hand in the air. “I’m sure it’s not as exciting as whatever you got up to in Europe.”
River started jogging in place. “We’ll see about that. Talk soon!”
I rubbed my hands over my face and composed myself for a minute. River and I had started to lose track of each other when I moved, and when he ran off to London, I thought our paths had permanently parted. We tried to keep up on social media for a while, but my life got so busy with school, and he always seemed wrapped up in his adventures.
As I drove out of the city and toward the rolling green countryside, my mind drifted over the years when River and I had been inseparable. I was raised by my dad, who was always moving, and I felt like I never got situated anywhere long enough to make real friends.
But when we moved in next to River and his family, for some reason, he decided to take me in, and we quickly latched onto each other. Trips to the library together turned into long bike rides around the neighborhood, and before I knew it, I was having dinner a few nights each week with him, his twin brother Kai, and their moms.
Their family had just been so nice. They welcomed me, exactly as I was, and for someone geeky and shy and gay, being welcomed like that made a world of difference.
For four years, I followed River everywhere. I listened to him talk about his latest crushes on cute boys and girls at our school and the brief, dramatic dating experiences he was cycling through. We went for long hikes in the woods on the edge of town, sometimes with Kai along and sometimes just us. We did all the things two best friends did, and the whole time, I bit my tongue and kept my aching, endless crush a secret.
When freshman year of high school started and my dad told me that we were moving away again, I thought the world had come crashing down.
It wasn’t just that I had a best friend for the first time in my life. I’d found a family where I was happy, too. I loved hanging out with quiet, serious Kai in our shared silences, and I felt supported by their moms when I had questions about being gay.
Hell, the whole family made me a cake for my birthday, every damn year.
But my dad, who refused to talk aboutthe gay thing, got another job. And he stopped doing birthdays because I was too old. And the next thing I knew, River and his family were only a happy memory.
