I even caught myself smiling a couple of times when I heard Leo placating a client over the most absurd things while he paced around in his office.
As soon as I got distracted by smiling, though, something in the back of my brain would grab me and remind me of Stefano. It was like the universe dropped a heavy, round stone into my stomach, a painful reminder that I wasn’t actually supposed to be back in Pittsburgh at this moment.
I had different plans and a different life, but here I was, sitting alone again.
I sighed and stood from my desk and gave Leo a wave, then went to find Kai. It took him a minute to get off the phone, but once he did, we made our way out of the busy office and to his favorite taco place down the street.
We slid into a booth in the back of the restaurant. I pushed my hair behind my ears and smiled to my twin brother. I really was proud of him, and I knew how hard he’d worked to get to this place in his life.
“Moms are so proud of you,” I said. “You know they bring up the firm every time we Skype?”
Our scientist parents were off on location, spearheading a research study in Antarctica together. Although they’d stayed put right until we went away to college, a series of fellowships and new initiatives had taken them all over the world since.
“Mama is very proud,” Kai laughed as he loosened his tie. “But Mom makes the same face you make about it.”
I squinted. “What face is that?”
“The one where you would rather die than spend your life working in a PR office and dealing with celebrities.”
I laughed. “Well, I’m not the one spending my life at the firm, thankfully. I’m just there part-time while my gracious brother saves my ass.”
Kai smiled. “I know. And just like Mom, you’re proud of me anyway.”
I studied his face. It was a relief to see him in person and know that we were going to be around each other for more than a week or two this time. Kai was always there for me, and that meant the world.
We both ordered lunch and grabbed from each other’s plates as we caught up. Kai and I had a healthy mix of things in common and big differences, which had helped us to get along easily and avoid any major fights past the age of ten. I knew him better than anyone, but we were going to get a much closer look at each other’s adult selves now that I was back in the states.
“Are you still permanently single?” I asked. “Any prospects lately?”
Kai frowned. “Not permanently. I dated that woman last year and the man a few years before that.”
“So no one new?”
He held a taco in the air. “Consider me in solidarity with you. No new love around here.”
I shook my head and sighed. “Don’t worry. I still only have eyes for Stefano. I won’t be chasing after anyone new for a while.”
“Sorry you got your heart broken again, River. But seriously, the guy doesn’t sound like he was worth your time. And the fact that he didn’t repay you for the down payment on the flower shop makes him supremely sketchy.”
I placed my hand over my eyes and turned my head down. I was way too embarrassed by the truth that was definitely written all over my face.
“What happened?” Kai asked, dropping his voice. “Did he rip you off, River?”
I pulled my hand away meekly. “No. He offered to repay me, and I kind of stormed off without taking the money.”
Kai’s face fell. “What?”
“I know, I know. You don’t have to tell me. It’s just that I felt it cheapened the whole thing, if it just became about the money at the end.” Saying it then felt just as ridiculous as it did when I made this speech in Rome, but now that I was talking, it all spilled out. “I felt that if I didn’t take the money, then it was like the little flower shop could still live in our dreams. And if I took the money, then the dream would be polluted by the breakup.”
“Oh, River.” Kai reached across the table and patted my hand. “I wish you had that money for your own dreams.” He squeezed my fingers. “I don’t know how you keep doing it, but your heart stays wide open, doesn’t it?”
I laughed and buried my face in my hands again. “I don’t know how I keep doing it either. It’s exhausting.”
“Well I hope you appreciate the break,” Kai said with a satisfied smile.
“I will,” I sighed. “Let’s just pray that none of your fabulous clients are taken by my beauty.”
Kai laughed and gestured to himself. “If they can handle this, I’m sure they can handle you.”
