River finished in no time, and we gathered our stuff together to go for a walk in the park. Kai wouldn’t be home until that evening, but for once, I wasn’t distracted by what River and I might do together. Instead, I was just happy to have the sunny day to share with him.
I’d spent so much time in anguish over the ways we were forbidden to each other. To come out on the other side and feel comfortable and chill together was like a miracle.
As we rounded the gate into the park, I indulged and rested my hand on the small of his back. River stepped closer to me, and the park opened up before us. Open green fields rolled into the wooded hills, and small groups of families and friends gathered in the shady spots and played sports under the hot sun.
“Thanks,” River said quietly.
“For what?” I asked.
He stopped, and I turned to face him. “For not pressuring me,” he said. “For helping me get my work done. For being okay just chilling for a night. It was really good for me to sleep in your bed and just… sleep. I needed that.”
“You don’t have to thank me for any of that,” I said. “It was exactly what I wanted to do.”
“I want more of this with you,” he said. He glanced around, almost like it was a secret, although there was no one we knew in sight. “Days like this, I mean. A big part of me still wants something more, too,” he clarified and laid his hands on my chest. “I want to be with you in a lot of different ways, Leo. But you should know this doesn’t feel like the other times for me.” He shook his head, his eyes wide as though he was admitting something to himself. “I just want this.”
I ran my hands down his biceps. “I want this, too. And I want to figure out a way we can have it where I don’t hurt you and we aren’t betraying Kai.”
River nodded, then pulled his hands away from my chest. “We’ll figure out how to do it,” he said. “Together.”
Chapter Twenty
River
Lyingin bed back at the condo, it felt like something had shifted. Even though these brief encounters with Leo were nothing like our hookup in the office, a new intimacy had come to the surface in everything we were doing.
And Leo and I were definitely doing something. I might not have been obsessively clinging to his side, but he was on my mind, and I found myself fantasizing about him throughout the day, dreaming up new situations where we might touch again.
I turned and opened my laptop. I had started browsing through apartment listings online, just looking to see what was out there. It was a dream to live with Kai and Leo, the way we all got along, but my goal wasn’t to stay dependent on my brother.
My goal was to be responsible for myself, and with the extra work at the film festival proving to be steady, I actually had the resources to do it.
Plus, moving out would help ease the other complications of cohabiting with Kai and Leo. It would give us all a little breathing room, and even though I’d miss the condo, I knew it would be a relief, too.
A soft knock drew my attention to the door. I climbed out of bed and pulled it open slightly, peering into the hallway.
“River,” Leo said, only a sliver of his body visible through the cracked door. “Can I come in?’
“Sure,” I answered hesitantly. “Is Kai home?”
I opened the door, and Leo stepped in. He was still wearing his charcoal slacks from work, but he’d stripped down to a white T-shirt. “He’s taking a call in his room. He told me not to disturb him for the next hour.” He paused and glanced around. “Your room is looking good.”
I glanced around the place. My red plaid blanket covered the bed, and framed photos from London and my childhood dotted the wall. I’d covered the dresser with candles and trinkets, including some dried flowers I’d very carefully wrapped in tea towels and tucked away in my luggage. The walls were gray, and all the furniture was this very minimal kind of contemporary that Kai and Leo had picked, but with my matching purple lamps shining their faintly purple light and a glamor shot of Catherine Deneuve pinned to the wall, I’d brought a taste of my flat in London home with me.
“Thank you,” I said with a twirl of my hand. I took a seat on the edge of the bed, and Leo stood across from me, one hand on the wall. “What’s up?”
He smiled, and I could tell he was excited, maybe even a little nervous. “I have an idea.”
“Okay?” I buried a smile. He was acting so cute. It would be fun to tease him, but I wanted to listen.
Focus on his words, River.
“Can I sit down?”
I arched an eyebrow. “Should I shut the door?”
Leo nodded, and a second later, we were repositioned on the bed. I had one leg under myself and the other draped to the side, but Leo sat with both feet on the floor, like a teenager trying to not get himself in trouble.
“I’ve been thinking about it since we talked in the park. We’re obviously not very good at keeping our hands off each other.”
