Kai always scolded me for giving my heart away too easily, and I knew he was right. I was a dreamer, and despite how many times I ended up nursing my broken heart, the second that someone new caught my eye, I was ready to believe in the dream again.
The real problem was I always lost myself in the dream. A little flower shop in Italy sounded great, definitely, but as I got some distance from Stefano, my stomach sank with regret. I’d lost my job in London and, with it, my visa. I couldn’t go back to see my friends or walk the little park I loved or listen to the rain on my window.
I’d thrown that all away the minute I decided to stay in Italy.
I shoved the little blue bottle in my pocket and wiped my eyes. The breakup was one thing, but finding myself in Pittsburgh, begging for help from my twin brother, felt like an actual kick in the teeth.
Thank god Kai was able to take me in, and I knew I would enjoy the city once I got to know it. But this was defeat, pure and simple. It was the result of ten solid years of adulthood, every one of them spent following my heart instead of my brain. I had only made it two years into college before an obsession with old romantic French films led me to a semester abroad, and when that ended, I decided to follow a cute librarian to London instead of returning home to finish my degree.
I never did pick a career path or think beyond what my latest crush wanted. I’d just taken the jobs I could to extend my visa and focused on kissing strangers in the rain. I let myself go and follow my whims because hey, you only live once, and I was on the hunt for that special someone to share that one life with me.
Not only was I lacking a partner, I was nearing thirty without money, a home, or a job, either.
The taxi pulled up to Kai’s, and I hauled my heavy bags from the trunk, tipped the nice older woman money that I didn’t really have, and waddled into his building. My brother and his roommate were at work and had left me a key. When I stepped inside, I was grateful to have a little quiet after my long flight.
The place was exactly like it had been in all the Skypes, sophisticated and modern and hip. Kai had always been a neat freak, so I wasn’t surprised to see perfectly cleaned surfaces and not even the suggestion of clutter. But he’d never been stylish, so I figured all the flare came from his roommate. The modular black sectional in the living room was positioned under an array of bright, abstract paintings, and across the open space, a long wooden dining table sat elegantly before a floor-to-ceiling window.
Kai had done good for himself. I already knew that was true, but seeing it all in person really drove the point home.
Thank god at least one of us had his act together. Our moms must have found some comfort in that.
I found a note on the island in the kitchen, waiting for me by a tiny bottle of wine. Pushing my long hair out of my face, I glanced over Kai’s steady handwriting.
Welcome to Pittsburgh! Help yourself to whatever you need. Your bedroom is at the end of the hallway on the right, and there’s leftover pizza in the fridge.
Leo and I will get back around seven. I’m excited to hear about your trip and catch up on your adventures.
Treat the place like it’s your home because it is now.
And most importantly, please don’t forget. While you’re staying here, NO NEW RELATIONSHIPS!
Love, Kai
I crumpled the note and grabbed the bottle of wine. My brother was sweet, but he couldn’t miss an opportunity to remind me of the one condition put on my free room and board.
He said that he wanted to support me and help me figure out what I was doing with my life, and that if I let myself fall in love with someone, that plan would fall apart. He wanted to value the time we had together after so long apart, and I wanted to honor that.
Plus, I couldn’t blame him. He was right about it all.
I’d be doing the same thing since I ditched him at summer camp in seventh grade, when I met my first boyfriend.
Not to mention, before my semester abroad in Marseilles, I had signed a lease with him in the states for the next fall, in an apartment I definitely never stepped foot inside.
I found the bathroom, kicked off my clothes, and twisted the shower knob until the water was hot enough to fill the sleek metal room with steam. My muscles relaxed, and I let out a long sigh as the dry, recycled air feeling from the long flight washed away.
Kai didn’t need to worry. Right then, I wasn’t thinking about new love anyway. There was still a tender feeling behind my ribs, a tugging sensation that reminded me I was never going to see Stefano again.
Because no matter how many times I gave my heart away, it still hurt like hell every time it was handed back to me in tatters.
Chapter Three
Leo
My last clientof the day ditched on me, so after a cocktail alone at the overpriced bar he had insisted on, I actually got home a little early for once.
I was excited to finally meet the mysterious River. It was only after he ran away to Europe that I ended up living with Kai in our first apartment, although I’d heard plenty of stories about my roommate’s twin over the years since.
Hell, Kai and I dreamed up Silver Lining in that apartment. I owed the guy.
