I took an awkward sip of my coffee. “Too many long hours?”
And that desk…
“If you overwork yourself, you won’t be any fun on vacation.”
“Right. Home by seven, I promise.”
Kai smiled at me from across the island. He was wearing the old gray hoodie he often slept in, and his hair stuck out at funny angles. Even though he and River were identical twins, to me, they looked less and less like each other every day.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, his eyes narrowing with concern.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I’m just distracted this morning.”
“Did you have a late hookup last night? I didn’t notice. I thought you were in bed.”
“No, no hookup last night. I actually spent a Saturday night at home for once.” There was no need to mention I was hiding from him and struggling to contain my feelings for his brother.
“River was out late. I guess the employees finally decided to drag him out dancing.” He stabbed some egg with his fork. “I hope he had a good time. He’s happier when he has someone to go out with.”
Pictures of River dancing and flirting with strangers flooded my mind, and I had to struggle for a minute to push aside a wave of jealousy.
Another thing that made River very different. I never felt jealous about a hookup.
“I’m sure they showed him a good time. Those nights sound like they get rowdy.”
Kai dropped his phone and looked straight in my eyes. “You don’t think he would start a thing with any of the employees, do you? I don’t want to police his behavior or anything, and I trust my brother, but he normally doesn’t make it long before he chases his heart into a new relationship. Have you noticed anyone flirting with him?”
I held Kai’s eye. Ten years of friendship weighed on my shoulders, dumping guilt into my gut. “I don’t think he’s seeing anyone,” I answered.
“I know the employees date each other,” Kai continued as he turned back to his plate. “I’m not naïve. And I know River will start seeing someone eventually, too. I just really, really want him to get his life on track a little more while he’s here, you know? And I don’t want to lose this time with him.”
“Yeah, Kai. I understand.”
I understand that I’m a total asshole.
What if River really did develop feelings for me, like Kai warned me would happen before he moved in? He’d sworn that he was only interested in that one night, and I believed him.
But also… I wanted him to develop feelings.
I wanted it so bad my heart ached.
“Do you think I’m out of line, worrying about him like this?” Kai asked. “He always gets mad when I act like I’m his boss.”
“Just don’t track his phone or read his bank statements.”
“Yeah, and if he goes out dancing and flirts with some people, that’s fine.”
“Well I don’t think River wants to flirt with people right now,” I said. My voice came out flat and irritated, and Kai frowned.
“He doesn’t?”
“He wants to stay single,” I said with confidence. River had told me that plenty of times, and I knew he meant it. “It’s not just because you told him to—he really wants that for himself. If you want to do anything, you could invite him to stuff with less flirting instead of more. That’s probably helpful.”
Helpful for River and helpful for me, too. I smiled slightly, relieved that I was finding a way through the conversation that didn’t leave me feeling like a total scumbag.
Kai cocked his head to the side. “River,” he said, and I heard his brother’s footsteps padding down the hallway.
“Morning.”
