“Shawn Bergson,” Cass said, tracing his finger across my name. “You wrote a book.”
I felt dizzy looking at it. Seeing my name in big letters like that made me nervous in a way I didn’t expect, and I leaned back into Cass’s arm, eager for the comfort. “There’s still a lot more to do,” I pointed out. “A couple more chapters and loads of edits…”
Cass kissed my cheek. “You wrote a book,” he said again.
I laughed and nodded, my eyes locked into the cover. “Yeah. I really did, didn’t I?”
Buddy came running in from the back, breathing heavily as he circled our feet. I closed the laptop and turned to Cass, tracing my thumb over the stubble on his chin as I kissed him.
Our move to Pittsburgh had been quick and easy. Leo hooked us up with a good rental to try the city out, and Cass found his way quickly to steady work and his new band, Jolt. And when one of my new friends from the Allegheny Observatory told me about the house on Mount Washington, it was easy for us to put together our savings and some of my advance to make the dream real.
Quick and easy, but it still would have been impossible to write my first draft of the book and move to a new city without Cass’s support. He made everything possible for me in ways that I still didn’t quite understand.
I kissed him and pushed him against the wall, dragging my lips down to his neck and sucking on my favorite spot. Cass groaned as he grabbed my ass, squeezing tonight. “I’m never going to get these cupboards done if we keep fucking all afternoon on my days off.”
I pushed my hands down to his jeans and palmed his bulge. “Didn’t I earn it?” I pouted.
Cass’s hips bucked as he let out a sharp laugh. “Babe, you earned whatever the hell you want.”
I threw myself against him with another kiss, and soon enough, we made our way to the living room. We threw our clothes aside and fell to the couch, licking and sucking and grinding. I had learned so much about my body and what I liked by being with Cass, and I was able to take him in me easily, riding him until we were both exhausted and spent.
Remembering the Jolt show that night, I hurried Cass off to get ready and went to make dinner. Navigating the half-assembled kitchen had also become second nature, and I managed to throw together some veggie fried rice quickly. Once everything was finished, I plopped down at my computer again and put in some serious time just staring at the cover, pride bubbling up. With the freelance gigs I was now picking up for popular science magazines, I really was making a career as a science writer, something I never even let myself dream could be possible before Cass.
I decided that I wanted to celebrate properly and texted Leo and a few friends to join me at the venue. Cass came down the stairs, his hair still wet from the shower. He’d changed into a new flannel and my favorite pair of his jeans, which hugged his thighs just right. “I’m going to load up the drum set and head to the bar,” he said, then kissed me on the cheek. “You want to ride with me?”
I walked over to the counter and grabbed a bowl of fried rice, then shoved it in his hands. “Dinner first. Then I’ll help you load up the trailer.”
He chuckled and kissed me on the cheek again. “Right. Thanks, babe.”
By the time we made it to the venue, Leo was already there, chilling with his roommate Kai at the bar. Cass headed over to find the rest of Jolt, and I took a beer from my brother, then shared my cover with them both. We joked around for a while about my author bio, which Leo tried to insist should include “Leo’s brother” in it, and slowly, the place filled with fans of Jolt and a few new friends in our group.
When Cass came out for warmup, a different kind of pride started to puff me up. Jolt was an established band in Pittsburgh when we arrived, known for the garage rock sound and aggressive, hard drumming. Cass had started out as a fan, but when their drummer had to step back, the timing had let him step in. The other band members and the fans all took to him immediately, and he’d started to sit in on some recording sessions with Pittsburgh old-timers about once a month, too.
Cass had even added some of the deep space sound effects to a new Jolt song. I doubted most people in the audience recognized the weird glitches and electric howls, but whenever I spotted them in the background of a song, I grinned and pumped my fist a little harder.
And the whole time, I’d been there as his boyfriend, cheering him on. I learned how to throw myself into the high energy music, caught in the power that was banging and throbbing from the stage, and I ended plenty of nights in that bar pressed against the back wall, loving up on Cass. It wasn’t my world, exactly, but it wasn’t just his, either. It was one part of the world we were building together, a cluster filled with more stars than you could see with the naked eye.
He looked at me from the stage and tossed his head back in a nod, his hair flipping back. I grinned and waved softly at him, then leaned back against the bar, ready for the show.
CASS
A few months later
“My god, it really is you.”
Mrs. Bergson held the door to the Kentucky house open as snow tossed through the air behind Shawn and me. She had on a black sweater with pearls across the top, and she wore her hair in a short, stylish bob. It had been over a decade since I saw her last, but I would recognize those eyes anywhere, shining as brightly as Shawn’s.
“Come on, it’s freezing out here,” Shawn said, pushing past me. “Hi, Mom,” he added, greeting her with a kiss on the cheek before he dropped his bags.
I kicked off my boots. “It really is me,” I said, then dropped my bags to the side and offered my hand. “And before anything else, I wanted to apologize again for lying to you about my fake ID in 2009, Mrs. Bergson.”
She narrowed her eyes, and we stared at each other. Shawn had sworn in the car ride that nothing would be awkward and that Mrs. Bergson would love me if I just acted like myself. For just a second, though, I felt like I was back in high school and doing a very poor job at hiding something I had done wrong.
Then her face broke open in a wide smile, and she stepped forward, pulling me into a hug. “It’s all forgiven,” she said with a laugh. “We both know it was Leo’s idea in the first place. And please, call me Anne.”
I laughed along with her. “Anytime you need me to ingratiate myself further, just ask. I’ll be happy to rat out Leo for all kinds of things.”
“He’s winning me over already,” she said to Shawn, patting my shoulder. “Now come on. Let’s get you boys some tea and snacks.”
