Audrey caught her breath, sweaty and grinning. “Good. I need to use the bathroom, though.”
Cass nodded. “I’ll grab us some waters. You want to keep your friend company, Shawn?” He nodded across the bar. “The line isn’t short.”
“Sure,” I answered, adjusting my glasses. “Meet you back here.”
Cass pressed a quick kiss to my cheek before my walked away. The scrape of his stubble left me weak-kneed. As we walked through the crowd, Audrey grabbed my hand, squeezing it tight.
“Looks like your drummer man is pretty sweet on you. You didn’t tell me he was all cute like that.”
I squeezed her hand back. “He’s not shy, but I’m definitely surprised. Especially at the show. I kind of thought he’d touch me less in front of his old band.” We stepped around a crowd of women in leather vests and denim. “I guess I should learn that Cass means it when he says he doesn’t care what other people think of him.”
“There’s no doubt what you mean to him, though.”
We arrived at the line. People were shoulder to shoulder against a brick wall, and I kicked my sneaker back as I leaned in to talk in Audrey’s ear. “What do you mean?”
Audrey turned to face my ear, speaking loudly over the music. “He’s totally taken with you, Shawn. He stares at you with this dopey look on his face all the time, and whenever I ask him a question about himself, he ends up talking about you.”
“Does he?” Audrey shot me an exasperated look, and I laughed and shook my head. “It’s not like that, though. We’re just hooking up for the summer, that’s all. It can’t be anything more than that.”
“Why the hell not?” she shouted over the music. “Because he used to be straight? Because you’re supposedly so different from each other?”
“No, it’s just…” I trailed off. Why couldn’t it be anything more than that? Cass didn’t seem hung up on any of those things, so why should I be?
Audrey grabbed my chin, then turned me to the bar. “Look at him,” she said. “And tell me you don’t feel the same way about Cass as he obviously feels about you.”
With Audrey’s fingers on my face, I stared at the bar. Cass was leaning up at the counter, his face visible in profile. I watched a slow, easy smile curl up the corners of his lips as he watched the band. It was a smile I had memorized years ago, but I knew it even better now. I knew the sharp lines of his jaw, the cut of his brow, the curve of his nose. I knew the sound he made when I kissed at his neck and the taste of his sweat, musky and sweet on my lips.
Cass turned and looked our way, obviously checking on us. When his eyes landed on mine, he lit up, his smile growing wider as he nodded his head back.
My heart jumped into my throat. The blaring, noisy music was suddenly quiet, like I had entered into a strange vacuum. Everything disappeared except for Cass, looking at me just the way Audrey had described.
“Oh my god,” I said, my hand back on the cool brick wall. “Audrey, I’m in love with Cass.”
Audrey squealed as we shifted forward with the line. “You are?”
I took my glasses off, rubbed the bridge of my nose, then put them back on. It was a lot to take in, more than I could really process with the band thrashing and sweaty strangers bumping into me as they walked by, but I knew it was true. What had started as a fantasy crush had grown into something much bigger, and no part of me doubted that Cass was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
“Wow,” I said with a shaky breath. “I really am.”
My cheeks warm, butterflies tickled me from the inside. I was in love. Without a single doubt, I had fallen in love with Cass. And standing in that noisy bar, it seemed possible that he was in love with me, too.
Not only possible, it seemed true. What else could explain the way he was so sweet with me, not just that summer, but all those years ago, too? Cass had always cared for me in a way that no one else had. He’d always been the one there for me, no matter if it made sense to other people or not.
“Go on, then,” Audrey said, shifting another step toward the bathroom. “Tell him how you feel! Go give him a kiss.”
I shook my head quickly. “Not here,” I said. “He still has to hang out with the band after the show.” I let out another shaky breath, still rocked by the revelation. “I need to process this a little first. I don’t even know if he’s open to a relationship or what I’d want from him in the long run.” The questions started to swirl through my brain, stressing me out.
Audrey squeezed my arm. “Take a deep breath and don’t let me or anyone else rush you. I’m just really happy for you, Shawn. Cass is a great guy. I was a little skeptical when you told me about him at first. I thought he might be using you to experiment with his sexuality. But when you’re around him, you’re calm and happy in a way I’ve never seen you before.”
I laughed. “He does make me happy.”
“Believe me, I remember all the details. Anyone who likes to give you that many orgasms is definite boyfriend material.” We reached the front of the line, and a second later, the door to one of the single stall bathrooms swung open. “Now go on,” Audrey said, pausing as she held the door. “Even if you don’t tell him how you feel tonight, there’s no reason you can’t go love up on your guy now.”
I took a deep breath and composed myself, then turned back to the bar. I lost sight of Cass as I pushed my way through the crowd, the band still blaring and the drums reverberating my gut. When I emerged on the other side, I stopped in my tracks.
Cass leaned back on the bar with his elbows. Standing very close to him was a woman with bright purple hair that flowed down beneath her shoulders. She wore a red leather skirt and torn concert T-shirt, and the tattoos circling her biceps were in the same style as his.
The woman threw back her head with a laugh, then trailed her hand down Cass’s chest. My heart seized. I remembered the fan who had hit on him in Louisville and reminded myself that he had turned her down, then walked straight over to me for our first kiss.
