Leo rolled his eyes. “All right, weirdo. Fine. I won’t bring it up anymore.”
Cass gave me a soft squeeze, then stepped away. “Thank you. Now come on. I’ll help you load up the car.”
After Leo took off, I finally had a chance to hop in the shower. I wanted to sleep more, but all the coffee had me wired, and I couldn’t stop thinking about the night before.
I hadn’t expected Cass to go down on me, but when he did, it immediately felt right. He held me in his mouth so carefully and kissed me and sucked on me in a way that sent shivers up my spine. As I toweled myself off in the bathroom, I remembered the way he had teased my orgasm out with his tongue, and I had to lean on the sink to steady myself.
* * *
Later, I came back downstairs with a book under my arm and found Cass on the living room couch, playing with his phone. Since Leo was gone, I let myself hop right on the couch beside him, throwing my legs over his lap.
“Hey there,” Cass laughed, then tossed his device to the coffee table. “I was just about to head out to the studio. I want to hang gutters before the storms come through this week.” He rested his hand on my knee, then tickled it. “Unless you’re here to distract me, that is.”
I grinned. I was glad he seemed as horny as I was. So long as Cass kept wanting to hook up, it was pretty easy to keep myself out of self-doubt.
“You should do the gutters,” I said. “I really want to get some reading done today.”
Cass ran his hand through his hair. “Good idea. And hey, thanks for sticking up for me this morning.”
“Sticking up for you?” I raised an eyebrow.
“When Leo was trying to push an agent on me. Again. He would have kept going at it if you hadn’t said something.”
“Oh, right,” I smiled. “I’m glad I could help.” I stretched my legs across Cass’s lap, glad that I could make a difference for him. “That reminds me. You talked about your parents a couple times with Leo. I knew you weren’t close, but did they really use to miss family dinner?”
Cass chuckled. “It probably wouldn’t be right to call it family dinner. I ate alone more often than I ate with either of them.”
“That sucks,” I said. “I didn’t realize that.”
He shook his head, his hand stroking my leg. “It’s not so bad. A lot of people I know had it so much worse. I had a roof over my head, a car when I turned sixteen, even my own drum set. I can’t complain about any of that.”
I scrunched up my mouth in thought. “I guess so. But a car and drum set aren’t the same as parents.”
Cass sat there for a minute, his eyes across the room. I watched a cloud pass over his face, softening his features and tugging them down.
“You know, they didn’t even really care when Leo and I started getting in trouble. At the time, I thought it was the best. Leo came over after school, we messed around and drank beer and played with the drums, and no one bothered us at all. With all the crap he was going through, being harassed for coming out of the closet, I thought it was the best fucking thing. Like my rich parents were giving us all the space we needed to be ourselves. But when I realized they just didn’t care, I kept acting out more and more, thinking I’d finally get a reaction out of them. I’m lucky I didn’t crash my car or fail out of school totally, but every problem I got into, they just bought their way out of it anyway.”
I sat up and rested my hand on his arm. “That sucks,” I said again, wanting to make sure he understood that it was okay to feel hurt by their actions.
Cass shrugged, then leaned closer to me. “They probably shouldn’t have been parents in the first place. Once I left and their careers really took off, they were a lot happier. They realized a long time ago that I wouldn’t live up to their expectations, and I guess it was easier to just write me off and move on with their lives.” He shook his head softly. “The whole thing made me independent. It taught me that I was responsible for myself and that I couldn’t waste my life trying to make other people happy. I like who I am, and I wouldn’t change that for anything.”
I hummed quietly under my breath, my heart aching to think of him on his own like that. I had plenty of experience feeling lonely, like an outcast, and I hated that Cass lived with that same pain. “I like who you are, too. And I wish your parents hadn’t sucked.”
Cass laughed and rubbed the back of my head, sending little shivers down my spine. “Enough of all that. I’m keeping you from your work.”
I traced my fingers over the cover of the book, lying on the arm of the couch. “It’s okay. I’m not sure I’m going to get it done, anyway, if I end up taking this job.”
Cass swung my legs off his lap as he stood. “Then don’t take the job,” he said flatly.
I tilted my head to the side, surprised by how confidently he said it. “Like Leo told me, though, just writing one book isn’t really a career.”
Cass laughed. “Didn’t we just agree? Leo’s too hung up on his career. I know you’ve got an amazing book in you, Shawn. Don’t get scared and settle for some job you don’t really want.”
“I wish I were that confident about it,” I replied, tapping my fingers on the book cover. It seemed impossible to treat my pipe dream like a serious plan for my future. The summer was just supposed to be a detour, a way to indulge myself before I tackled my adult responsibilities. But hearing Cass’s encouragement, it felt a little easier to believe something more was possible.
“How about this,” Cass said. “Why don’t you set a goal for yourself, and I can give you a reward once you get it done. Maybe in a couple weeks you could show some writing to your old professor or submit it to a publisher?”
I shook my head quickly. “I haven’t even told Dr. Freeman I’m writing a book,” I explained. “I don’t want to waste her time.”
