“I usually play smaller venues, bars and little shows. The audience never stresses me out. As soon as I start drumming, we’re all riding the same music. It feels good.”
I smiled, pleased by the idea—and by the image of Cass drumming and pumping his arms and dripping sweat that jumped to mind. “That sounds nice.”
“It is,” he chuckled.
For a brief second, I turned my eyes back to Cass. His legs were still spread wide, and he had stretched one arm over the back of the chair as he gazed upward. The light of the house cast him in partial shadows, but I could see the line of his brow and the curve of his lips.
And I could see the shadow of the person he was when we walked the hallways together in high school. Back then, when I’d see him across the cafeteria or in the parking lot after the last bell, he always looked a little sad and a little troubled. And still that night, I thought I saw a touch of that behind his eyes, some deeper part of him.
God, it would feel amazing to be with him. Not just sitting together, although that felt so good I could barely handle it. But to curl up in his lap and run my fingers along the scrape of his stubble. To actually be with Cass and to have him desire me the way I needed him—I couldn’t imagine wanting anything more than I wanted that, my crush just as achingly strong as it had ever been.
“Another one!” he declared with a laugh, and when I jerked my head up, I caught the last flaring light of the meteor’s tail, streaking the sky.
“Damn it!” I never expected to lose a game by failing to stare at the sky enough. “All right, I’m ready for a comeback.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that Cass was now looking at me. His gaze felt like a warm touch across my skin, and my breath caught as that warmth poured through me.
And that night, I wasn’t overcome with anxiety. I wasn’t desperate for him to stop looking. Instead, I just enjoyed the satisfaction of it, knowing that he was seeing me just the same as I was seeing him a moment earlier.
“Meteor!” I said and pointed straight to the flash of light.
Then Cass turned his face upward, and together, we watched the Lyrids.
Chapter Six
Cass
The cranky oldlawnmower rattled as I navigated around a stump, then pushed it up the incline toward the house. I had dragged it back by the studio, then decided I might as well finish off the rest of the lawn before the rains came and it got out of hand.
Earbuds blasted an old Bad Brains album over the roar of the machine, and I rode the escalating rhythms as the warm, humid air clung to my skin. It had been a few days since Shawn and I watched the meteor shower together, and since then, we’d been a lot more familiar with each other around the house. He kept odd hours and slept in late, but we still ended up eating dinner together every night and working together to get the chores done.
Just like I expected, it was easy to spend time with him. Shawn was gentle, and it sometimes took a bit to get him talking. But once he was excited, he would bounce around in a way that warmed me up. He had this habit of waving his hands around and twisting his face up that was totally adorable.
I spun the lawnmower, my hand sweaty on the grip, and pushed it back in the other direction. Adorable wasn’t a word I usually used for other men, but it was the only one I could think of for Shawn.
What it meant for me to think he was so nice to look at, though, I hadn’t really figured out yet. When I jerked off in my room the last few mornings, he’d come to mind, just like he had that day in the shower. I wasn’t sure if it was self-fulfilling prophecy or whatever. Because he popped into my imagination once, now I was subconsciously thinking about him every time I started grinding my fist down my cock.
The lawnmower sputtered, and I stopped to yank the cord until it roared back to life, high-energy punk beats still rattling in my ears. I pushed my sweaty hair back, then returned to the task, clippings flying behind me.
Whatever the reason, I hadn’t exactly fought the fantasies off. My hand slick with lube, I’d spent plenty of time thinking about Shawn and imagining how his body would feel in my hands or how soft his lips would be if he dragged them up and down my cock. I was surprised by how natural the fantasies felt, and most mornings, I let them wash over me without really stressing it.
At least it was something new, a distraction from the life I’d left behind. Everyone back in Nashville would be celebrating Twice Shattered that week and sending them off with a bang, but I hadn’t even gotten a phone call from the band. I could never bring myself to do something once I decided it wasn’t right for me anyway, but seeing how little I meant to them still sucked.
So I decided maybe I’d let myself have a little harmless fun, thinking about Shawn. The fact that it felt like it was against the rules only made it hotter, like I was indulging something that had been forbidden.
The night of the meteor shower, he took the time to show me a few things through the telescope before we went to bed. I said I was surprised that stars could be blue, and he’d shown me all these different colored stars, red and orange and gold, all burning in the sky. Hanging out with Shawn felt kind of like that to me, like he was revealing a part of the world I hadn’t seen before.
Like could you imagine if the sun were blue?
It was a fuck of a lot more fun to think about than the amount of money I was losing, not going on tour with Twice Shattered.
I finished off the lawn as the sun beat down on me, then pushed the mower back into the garage where I had found it. When I turned, Shawn was standing at the entrance, a big glass in his hand.
I pulled the earbuds out. “Hey.” I greeted him with a nod.
He extended the glass. “I remembered that you liked the lemonade the other day and wanted to say thanks for doing the lawn.”
I wiped my forehead with the back of my arm, then accepted the glass. “Thanks.” I took a deep, satisfying gulp, and just like last time, it hit the spot. “And no problem. I like doing yardwork.”
