He stirred, then pulled himself from the dream. It took a second to reorient, but once he felt the firm, warm embrace of his boyfriend, he remembered where he was.
“Gray,” he said, then rubbed his eyes. The fear started to fade, and he cuddled himself closer. Out the window, the world was still dark and quiet. “What’s going on?”
“Don’t worry,” Gray whispered in his ear. “Nothing bad.” He kissed Jameson on the cheek, then crawled out of bed. “Just a surprise.”
Jameson rubbed the heel of his palm against his eye and pulled himself back to reality. There wasn’t anyone staring at him, no strangers peering into his life. There was just Gray, the person he wanted to be there. The person he had chosen.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed, sitting up. “What kind of a surprise happens in the middle of the night?”
Gray tossed Jameson the wolf sweatshirt, then a pair of heavy sweatpants. “Surprises at four in the morning are the best,” he said. “Now come on.”
Jameson pulled the clothes on, but as soon as he was dressed, Gray was out the door. After feeling like Gray was somehow distant for the last day, all of a sudden, Jameson didn’t mind chasing after his boyfriend. Gray was going to keep dragging him on adventures, he realized with a smile, even now that their joyride was finally over.
Downstairs, Gray had a paper bag hanging from one hand. He was dressed in an outfit like Jameson’s, with heavy sweatpants and a zipped hoodie, and he bounced with an excited energy.
“Don’t tell me we’re getting back in the car?” Jameson asked. It felt so good to be a part of Gray’s family; he wasn’t sure he could handle leaving right then.
Gray took his hand, then led him toward the exit. “Nope. Our destination is just around the corner.”
Outside, the entire world was still, like someone had frozen on a single frame. The moon was low in the sky, but bright enough that it cast a gentle light over the street, the old brick buildings, and the trees that dotted the sidewalk. The smell of salt was in the air, and when Gray started right down the street, Jameson realized where they must be going.
“The beach?” he asked, squeezing his boyfriend’s hand as he kept pace. “I didn’t even grab my scarf.”
Gray reached into the paper bag, then pulled out the scarf. “I have it, if we run into anyone. But look at this. It’s too dark to make out anything more than a few feet away, and Declan promised me there’s never anyone out until sunrise.”
Turning his gaze down the street, Jameson saw that Gray was right. He could see where he was going, but even with the occasional streetlight, everything was hazy and hard to make out. It was like in his dream, in fact, but instead of running into nosy strangers, he and Gray just sailed on through.
“I haven’t been to the beach since I was a kid.”
“Me either, until my uncle moved out here. You’re going to love this one.”
The air was chilly to start with, and as they approached the water, Jameson leaned in a little closer to Gray’s warmth. In the distance, he couldn’t see where the ocean ended and the sky began. It just looked like the stars were everywhere, and the long stretch of sand they started crossing practically sparkled.
“Maybe I could buy us a big ship,” Jameson said. “I’ll have my press conference, and then we can just sail away for the rest of our lives.”
Gray pulled Jameson under his arm, and Jameson leaned into his strength as the sand shifted under his feet with each step. “I could get into boats,” he said. “If you let me drive. Or steer. Whatever you do in a boat.”
“I mean, I’ll steer sometimes,” Jameson joked. “Don’t think I’m just going to sit there and compliment you while you take care of me.”
“Jameson,” Gray laughed, his voice deep in his chest, “that’s not a lesson I need to learn. You’re not one to sit back and let other people take control. Even when you were in Hollywood, you were always the one steering your career. Or driving it. Whatever.”
Jameson purred softly. It was true. Even though he felt swept along by forces he couldn’t control half the time, Jameson always fought to stay in control and carve out something that he could live with. He was glad that Gray could see that in him and recognize that he had never given up.
He’d just had to protect himself until someone else came along, someone he could truly trust.
They kept walking, leaning together, and then Gray sighed.
“I have to tell you something,” he said. They reached the water, which was lazily lapping the shore, and stopped together. “If you want to go on a boat, I’ll sail that thing anywhere you want to go. I’ll take you to every corner of this planet. But I can’t be gone from New York forever. I have my mom nearby, and my uncle and Seb, and I can’t just leave Horatio and Raiden like that.”
Gray’s voice was tight, and it hurt Jameson’s heart a little to realize how worried he was. He wrapped his hands around Gray’s wrist and rubbed his thumb over the tender spot on the inside of his arm, where his pulse lived. The moon had cast a shadow over his face, but Jameson could still see the whites of his dark eye.
“Gray, of course,” he said. “I understand that.” Jameson could feel his cheeks turning pink. He knew what kind of man Gray was, and he knew how important his family was to him. He’d never run away from the people he cared about, and Jameson wouldn’t want him to.
If anything, he just wanted to run toward them.
“But I figured it out,” Gray said, his voice speeding up. “I talked to Declan, and I think I can convince Raiden to take a job with Kaiser Security. If they’re looking out for each other, I can still run away with you for a while.” He rubbed the back of his head, and Jameson realized that his voice was pinched tight. “I know it’s not the same thing as forever. It’s not a castle in the mountains or a beach hut in paradise or anything romantic like that.”
Jameson’s smile widened, and he pulled Gray into a kiss. “It’s more romantic,” he said. “Trust me.”
